Shoulder to Shoulder
by PinkCollins
Summary: Serena is in need of a plus one yet again and turns to Ric for his dutiful presence, but when the day arrives Edward is out to rain on Serena's parade. But in a turn of dramatic events, the future looks bleak, will Serena and Ric's romance survive these turbulent times.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello once more, I am back with something new.**

**A/N 1 - As it stands this will be 5/6 parts. I have written up to chapter 3, 4 is set in stone and 5/6 will either become one chapter or two depending on what works. The joys of spending a few days feeling ill and wrapped up in bed. **

**A/N 2 - Future chapters may contain some daker themes, I will add pre-warnings for those chapters**

**A/N 3 - A bit of fictional world meets real world here**

**Anyway enough A/N's from me. Hope to all those that read the story enjoy :)**

* * *

Serena Campbell sat in the office on Keller holding an invitation in her hand, an invite to the Board of Trustees Christmas Dinner and Evening Ball, taking place at Tortworth Court, which is just on the outskirts of Bristol and boarding Wyvern. This was an invitation that Serena knew she would be unable to turn down, currently the Hospital's CEO, she would seem callous and unappreciative of her role.

However, it is not that she wanted to turn down the invite, there stood the pressing matter of the additional factor placed upon her invite; the plus one. Serena hated the fact that everything seemed to warrant a plus, a true thorn in the thigh for single women like herself. She had carried the invite around with her all day, with the nagging thought of whom she will ask to attend with her, showing up alone would truly be detrimental.

However, with the event two weeks away, Serena knew there was only one option that she would consider, a person who in the past had found themselves in the inner circle; a person who at least she knew she could keep up appearances with, someone who would appear as her counterbalance. That person stood as Ric Griffin, despite their initial reservations about one another, over recent times they had formed a pleasant friendship, they only thing she had to do was convince him to take up her offer, she had managed it once before - only just.

Serena had sneakily called AAU, and spoke to Ric, suggesting that she needed his medical expertise, she figured it would be the only way he would show his face promptly and Ric sure was prompt, of not five minutes after she made the call, he too found himself in the Consultant's office on Keller.

Ric had always found Serena hard to read, but what he did manage to work out was that this was not a professional call, he could tell by the smile that crept upon her face.

"What are you after?"

"A favour" Serena firmly spoke, not letting on her request just yet.

"What kind of favour"

"Oh, you know. The usual"

"The _usual_?" Ric raised an eyebrow, that stood as a vague request from Serena and she knew it.

"Hmmm, 14th December, what are your plans?"

"I'm not sure I have any" Ric screwed his face "This isn't ..."

"A plus one invitation I need filling"

".. And I am your _last_ resort, again.."

"First, actually"

"Wow, I'm _almost_ honoured" Ric replied with high sarcasm

"You may recall with these things, it can't just be anyone..." Serena gave a teasing smile

"I remember, but what I really want to know is, why are you asking me?"

"Why wouldn't it be you?"

"There is Edward"

Serena laughed at Ric's answer, taking Edward would be the last thing on her mind, not even a last resort, and she would rather not go if she had to take Edward.

"Why is that funny?" Ric quizzed "I thought you two were getting along swimmingly"

"Professionally, I get along with Edward fine, he is a good anaesthetist, a Holby benefits from him, and concerning our daughter Eleanor, Edward, and I get on fine. Personally, I would rather lose my job than spend an evening being social with the man"

"Ah" Ric smiled "Still, I am not sure I should attend"

"Come on, it will be fun. We enjoyed ourselves at the Harvard MBA Dinner" Serena flashed a flirtatious grin in a bid to win Ric over.

Agreeing with that statement, Ric certainly agreed that they had a great time, but he needed to know what benefits he could reap "What do I get out if this, _if _I decide to accept?"

"You get a free three course meal, and the free bar at the evening ball, and you miss out on all the boring conference stuff I endure in the early afternoon"

Ric pondered the thought "Free bar is no good if I have to drive myself there"

"Okay, I'll reimburse you the costs for your cab home" Serena smirked "Unless you find some poor fool who has a twin room booked and willing to let you share"

"... That is not an offer is it?"

_"No!"_ Serena replied feeling almost as petrified of the thought as Ric. "I have a double, all for me... I guess you'll be taking that cab then?"

"I haven't accepted yet" Ric reminded Serena, although in his mind he already had and just played the teasing game.

"Fine, have it your way, I'll just have to find some other..."

"Old mug" Ric grinned completing her sentence

"Discounting the one in front of me, I don't think there are any others"

"Bullying huh? Almost feel obliged to accept, I will personally be able to tell Terrence how you used your manipulative techniques to force me along to such a drag"

"Perfect, I will email over you some of the details" Serena grinned "No run along; I think I've kept you for far too long"

"Message reviewed and understood" Ric nodded "Pleasure to take up so much of your important time"

"Pleasure to waste it on you" Serena replied, she watched as Ric left the office and she smiled to herself, she found it so easy to win Ric round, she almost enjoyed it. Truthfully, she was looking forward to having Ric attend as her plus one; he could take the edge off things and provide her with some light entertainment

Ric too had left with a smile on his face; he knew what he had let himself in for, despite some professional differences, the last time he played Serena's plus one, they had turned a corner built a stronger friendship, and the minor flirting did not harm anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews so far, very appreciated :)**

**A/N 1 - Pre warning, sensitive/dark themes in the latter parts of this chapter, I've included little breaks in sections so if anyone needs to take a step back or a breather they can do. **

**A/N 2 - I will admit here, what I scribbled down in my notepad notes wise for this chapter and what I ended up with is different to what I hoped and this is the original draft that I had, other version came out terrible. **

* * *

After a light lunch and a morning filled by chitchat, debates and budget analysis, Serena felt glad to put work related thoughts to the back of her mind. She cursed whoever's bright idea it was to hold such meeting at nine am on a Saturday morning, the morning of the day, the day that they were all expected to later feel happy, joyful and in high spirits. This conference meeting had left her with a nagging headache, financial cuts required and new staff needed attaining, furthermore concerns over a few of the latest F1 doctors and their below average results raised questions in the hospitals status as a leading teaching hospital.

Retiring to her en suit room, Serena instantly laid herself on the bed closing her eyes for a few seconds, hoping to escape reality just for a minute or two. The sound of her iPhone vibrated on the wooden bedside table.

"Go away" Serena spoke aloud to her phone, and not moving to answer it. Grabbed a pillow and placed it lightly over her head as her phone continued to vibrate, becoming marginally irritated and half expecting that Ric was trying to get hold of her; Serena grabbed her phone, but felt compelled not to answer the call that was now flashing through.

Once the phone had stopped ringing Serena became aware of the unusual amount of missed calls she had received from Edward, not to mention a number of texts, as the phone began to vibrate again, Serena answered;

"About _bloody_ time" Edward spoke as soon as he knew Serena answered.

"I have been in a meeting, what do you want?"

"You... Me, dinner, tonight?"

"Edward..."

"Hmmm"

"We have been through this, the odd family get together I am open to, but you and I, no. You can try to woo me until the day pigs learn to fly, I am _not_ interested'

"It's just a friendly offer of dinner, amuse me Serena"

"That warranted fifteen phone calls and six texts, sounds borderline obsessive"

"Sorry, I thought you were ignoring me, I wanted to apologise for the other week, hence the offer for dinner"

Serena sighed heavily "I'm at this Board of Trustees Dinner tonight; I have to decline your offer"

"Maybe I could join you?"

"That wouldn't be a good idea, Edward I have to go" Serena lied "We'll talk another time"

Serena hung up, feeling frustrated by Edward's phone call, and she really didn't like being reminded of last week, when Edward once again tried and failed to seduce her using his charming ways. She always knew Edward was a man who never took no for an answer not when he had his sights set on something, so thought nothing of his advances and believed they would tire soon enough.

Little did Serena know, Edward was on a path to destruction, although it was only one in the afternoon, Edward had already drunk a number of straight Vodka's and hatching a plan as to where to make his next move.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Come four-thirty in the afternoon, Ric found himself waiting in the lobby, just as Serena had instructed him to. As he sat there waiting, Ric realised this was the one thing he disliked about the management side to medicine. That was the side he hated, the side that could book out lavish locations, unnecessarily and then make it clear that cuts within the NHS are paramount. There were plenty of boardrooms available in the hospital they worked in and certainly a number of restaurants locally that they could attend. Ric it felt ridiculous that they did not seize the opportunities closer to home.

A few moments later, Serena arrived into the lobby, she rolled her eyes to Ric's lazy position on one of the chairs and almost made a quick cheeky jibe about it being age related - but Ric beat her too it.

"Once again Serena, you've scrubbed up well not gunning for a best dressed award by any chance?"

Raising an eyebrow, she smiled "I'll take that as a compliment that said you don't look too bad yourself"

Ric smirked "So how was the morning?"

"One to forget, the less I hear about work related topics, the happier I shall become"

"Well, I'm sure I have enough useless trivia and words of wisdom stacked away"

"Please _don't,_ I still recall your fact about the fish" Serena could not help but smile, remembering that conversation from the Harvard MBA dinner.

"Shall we?"

As they headed out of the lobby, they crossed paths with Charles Throne, one of the executives on the board. He now had his wife on his arm.

"Ric Griffin? Pleasure to see you old boy"

"Charles, it's been a while, how are things"

"Never better, I'm surprised to see you here, Serena you never mentioned that Ric is your dinner date"

"My plus one" Serena corrected him "There is a difference, meaning there was no need for mention it"

"Hmmm" Charles grunted, "Wonderful to see you again Ric, I'll see you in there"

Ric gave a nod, whilst Serena just sighed looking a little unimpressed.

"Wishing you never asked me here?"

"No, I just wish people would stop assuming that we are here on a date, men and woman can just remain as _friends_ and head out together"

"They can" Ric agreed, "It's not like we're doing this alone..."

"Exactly, just surrounded by colleagues and their significant others" Serena's face fell to one of dread

"Could be worse" Ric remarked,

"Mmm, we could actually be dating"

"Would that be so bad?" Ric spoke with a glint in his eye, part of the hidden subconscious flirting they often did with one another, although Serena said nothing her eyes did the talking.

Of course dating would not be that bad, it is just they often danced this merry dance, more often than not. They just never spoke of their true intentions.

Ii - ~~ - iI

With the three-course meal underway, Wine flowed, laughter made and decent conversation took place. Serena found herself seated beside Ric on the table known as the 'Top Table' a labelling that made Serena roll her eyes with cynicism.

Nevertheless, the dinner progressed into a fine night, and by the time, waiters had served dessert a few of the board members on the table were a little more than  
merry and revealing one too many secrets.

Serena felt thankful that she was not the drunk one, not yet, she respectfully decided to take it easy on the wine, furthermore she was glad that none of her secrets could be revealed, that was down to her not having Edward present and she knew Ric was smart enough not to reveal anything they shared. Glancing to the man beside her, in almost a coincidental turn, he had done the same to her, a move the prompted a smile. They could enjoy themselves together without even talking to one another.

Breaking the brief eye contact they shared, something suddenly dawned on Serena, they had spent most of the dinner in close quarters flirting, and it was not one-sided. She threw a look back to Ric, had they subconsciously turned this into a date?

Ii - ~~ - iI

Mingling the room, Serena left Ric to his own devices, and made headway to the bar, she had stated to lose interest in the evening; conversation with her colleagues became laboured. This evening ball malarkey was slightly dire, the music irritated her, and the odd slightly drunk couples on the room dancing away bothered her.

Serena obtained her glass of Red Wine, and sighed taking a sip, she started to feel a little tipsy, blinking her eyes, and she tried to retain some focus. Ric sidled up beside her, yet Serena failed to realise as she found herself focused on the moving liquid with her wine glass.

"You need to be careful, you may fall nose first into that glass and drown" Ric spoke as he casually leant on the bar

"Could make this evening _more_ entertaining..."

"Well, the business side of medicine isn't all it's cut out to be"

"Not to you maybe, the six figure salary on the other hand" Serena smiled "Enjoy your chat with Terrence?"

"_Delightful"_ Ric spoke with high sarcasm,

"Hmmm" Serena took a large sip of her wine "Humour me Ric"

"We could take a dance?"

".. Dance... with you, that is a ridiculous suggestion"

Ric shrugged "Your loss"

"Quit flirting"

"Only if you do" Ric grinned and he held out his hand.

Serena rolled her eyes, and tried to mask her smile sad she took his hand, secretly she was impressed that he asked. "Fine..."

Taking to a quiet corner, both Ric and Serena found themselves in a natural hold and rhythm, possible due to their alcohol intake, but possible due to the deeper connection that had started to simmer to the top, it took a while, but Serena suddenly spoke softly keeping her eyes fixed on Ric's.

"Ric, what are we doing?"

"Hate to state the obvious; I think they call it dancing"

"I know that, but _why?_ Is this wise?"

"I don't know, feels okay though, doesn't it?"

"Mmmm, I feel like everyone is watching us"

"Let them"

"That is how rumours start," Serena noted.

"Why don't we give them a rumour to talk about" Ric stopped and stood still, with Serena still in his hold, this was the moment, they both knew it and with the supposed Christmas spirit in the air, it almost seemed like the perfect excuse. Inching their faces closer, their lips almost met.

"Serena, Serena, Serena..." A drunken voice staggered across the hall. "Where is my _darling_ Serena"

Backing away from Ric, before their lips could even meet, Serena felt her face tinge red threw her make-up. Now all eyes were really upon her.

"I..."

"Do you want me to...?"

"No!" Serena spoke firmly "I'll deal with this" taking a number of deep breaths to contain her anger, she walked straight towards Edward, who had picked up a left over drink off a table and downed it in one.

"You've been a naughty girl"

"And_ you're_ drunk" Serena gritted her teeth and grabbed his hand, forcibly dragging him out the room, not caring if he stumbled a little, she felt humiliated as it was, she needed out that room and away from gossiping mouths.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Pulling Edward into the conference room that she had been in earlier this morning, Serena saw red, as she attempted to close the door Edward's arms slipped around her waist and he kissed her neck. Using her elbow Serena nudged him in the ribs, a move that made him wince and release his hold.

"You're sexy when you're angry," Edward slurred

"You have no right to come here" Serena backed away from every step he took closer to her.

"You have been ignoring my calls"

"I left my phone in my room" Serena wasn't one to feel intimidated but in this instance she did "Could you just stop that and stand still"

"Don't be like that"

"You know you are not supposed to come here, Edward"

"I told you, we were going to have dinner"

"As I recall I informed you that I had _other_ arrangements"

"That's why I drove here, so we could share this evening together"

"You could have killed yourself driving in that state"

"The things I do for you, Serena..."

"You can't stay here..."

"I'm not leaving without you"

"Edward, we have been through this, every-time you get drunk, you seem to think you... .. Just go sleep it off in your car"

"I saw him..."

"Who?"

"Ric... I am not letting him have his hands all over you"

"Edward, what has gotten into you? You're _scaring_ me" Serena could not back away any further, she found herself up against the back wall. She had seen Edward's erratic behaviour over the past week or so and had initially dismissed it, but now she could see something did not stand right, this was more than an alcohol-induced state of mind.

"I can't let you go" Edward replied walking right up to her, his vodka fuelled breath washing her face

"Why don't we get you a coffee and we can sit down and talk"

"I've got you exactly where I want you" Edward pinned Serena to the wall, this time exerting so much pressure she could not fight back, despite his unstable demeanour "I have to do this, you understand"

"No, I don't understand, Edward what had happened to you"

"Shhh now" Edward responded as he began to kids Serena's neck, a hand reached down and hitched up her dress, caressing her thigh as he felt a thrill run through his body.

"Edward, no... _Stop._.."

Edward ignored, it felt like someone had control of his mind and had turned him into a demon, taking Serena's former analogy of Satan a step too far. He continued to kiss hard on to her neck, almost biting. Taking numerous deep breaths Serena mentally spoke to herself, trying to gain some control, but Edward's possessed appearance felt too strong to fight.

_"Please_, stop ..."

Her plea fell unnoticed, and Edward became more dominant, tugging at her tights they ripped a little leaving him grasping on to her bare thigh. He was ready to give her the full brunt of his actions. Not a moment too soon, the door to the conference room flung open, this acted as Serena's strength to fight back, stop the monster that Edward had become.

"Help me..." Serena's voice croaked

".. Serena..."

The voice triggered Edward to back off, a new person he could torment. Pushing Serena away from him, he walked towards the man who entered the room

"Ah look who it is" Edward boomed "Ric bloody Griffin, come to join in?"

Ric screwed his face at Edward's bizarre choice of words; he then looked to Serena who frantically tried to make herself appear presentable.

"I have every mind to call the police" Ric stated

"You wouldn't" Edward badgered "You wouldn't dare"

"I'd call the medics in too" Ric continued "Not even you, could stoop that low, drink or no drink.. You wouldn't..."

".. Ric leave it.." Serena's voice cropped up, unwilling Ric to repeat the events that just happened.

Edward laughed, "My work is done"

Although feeling like he should punch seven bells out of Edward, Ric chose a different approach, squaring up to Edward, he gave a stern glare "You walk out that door, and you never step foot in Serena's life again. You leave Holby, you leave town. Cut all ties with your daughter, and if I _ever_ find out you touch Serena indecently again, I will personally ensure that you face consequences"

Edward smirked and pushed passed Ric, and walked out of the conference room, slamming the door behind him. Little did Ric know that his words would stand as the final straw that broke the camel's back in Edward's world.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Edward had left all of five minutes ago, and not a single word lay spoken. Serena sat herself on the table and faced the wall, with Ric subsequently joining her.

"You should report him"

"I can't, Eleanor would never forgive me"

_"Serena_, he crossed a line"

"That is not the point, he might currently be acting like a complete bastard, but I don't believe he intended to do anything"

Ric nodded in agreement "I saw a look in his eye, which is not the guy I met a few months ago, he is ill Serena"

"And that is why I can't report him... I have to talk to him, sober and..."

Ric had no response, he knew that disputing the matter would stand as a battle he would lose, the room fell silent once again, but Serena broke the quiet moment.

"Thank you" She spoke softly looking at him.

"What for?"

"Saving me"

"It's a good job I was looking for you then" Ric replied with a smile, looking to her.

"Why were you looking for me?"

"I hoped Edward would have buggered off, seeing as you and I have unfinished business"

"What business is that" Serena smiled adoringly to Ric, the events of moments ago almost forgotten, she slipped her hand over his.

Not wanting to prey on her vulnerability, Ric pondered whether, to bite the bullet or back off, but as his eyes lingered upon Serena's, the suggestive looks took over. Their lips locked in such a, tender yet passionate kiss, a kiss warm and protective.

Parting, yet remaining close, Serena whispered "Stay with me _tonight_ ..."

"It wouldn't seem right.. Considering circumstances"

"We just stepped over that mark, listen I figured earlier on this evening that I wanted this"

"Trying to get out of paying the cab fare?" Ric teased

"Of course" Serena grinned

Ii - ~~ - iI

A frantic Edward sat in his car, his actions dawning on him, what had he done? Panicking he pulled a pen and paper from the glove box, and scribbled down the thoughts inside his head, yet it didn't seem enough, throwing it into his back seat, Edward took the half empty bottle of Vodka on the passenger seat and took a swig.

Turning the key in the ignition, Edward drove off into the night, an irrational mind that failed to settle, reckless thoughts domineering soul, a man tormented. Driving down dark country lanes Edward veered down a closed road, his car swerving to miss a works vehicle, his car ploughed down a verge and into a tree.

Smoke billowed from his car, Edward luckily remained unharmed, clambering out of his destroyed car, and he wandered off into the night, heading up towards the bridge above the river.

Drunk, desolate and not in control of his mind, he took a step out into the unknown, he had been lucky enough to have made it this far.

* * *

**A/N 3 - What does this mean for Edward, what is causing his bizarre behaviour? **

**Hope you enjoyed this installment. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Firstly, thanks for all the responses to this fiction so far :) **

**A/N 1 - I made the decision as to where this fiction is heading very early on, I personally think I made the right call. But I guess you my readers are the final judges to that. **

**A/N 2 - This is a genral note, regarding this fiction and my others - There will be no updates until next week (Saturday 9th + ) Lots of work on and not much time to get to the laptop. **

* * *

With the weekend behind her, and the start of a busy Monday morning, Serena Campbell found herself with a wide smile constantly upon her face, after the Saturday night with Ric in Tortworth Court, Ric ended up at Serena's place on Sunday, the decision came just as Serena dropped Ric home. After allowing Ric to collect a few items they headed on their way, the thrill of this newfound romance brought out much lust and rinsed hidden sexual frustrations. So much so, they even arrived in to work together.

Enticed by each other's presence, Serena had forgotten her ordeal with Edward, and only today she realised she had become free from his constant texts and phone calls, it almost felt as if he took on board Ric's words and left town or at least left her alone. She would soon find out whether Edward was still around, seeing as she would more than likely see him on AAU later.

Now about to leave the cosy comforts of her CEO office, for the wards of Keller, she opened the door to find Ric appear, yet Serena managed to keep on her professional head for the time being

"This better be work related, or you need a _serious_ excuse to come skiving up here" Serena quipped allowing Ric to enter the office.

"Busy?" Ric quizzed

"I have an elective due, about to familiarise myself with wielding the knife, so whatever it is spit it out"

Ric fumbled him his scrubs pocket "These are yours I believe... Must have picked them up by mistake" Ric produced a set of keys, Serena's set of spare house keys.

"You sure you didn't do that on purpose" Serena grinned taking them from his hand and unwittingly placed a kiss on his lips

"Uh-huh, definitely not" Ric replied yet his focus fell drawn to pulling Serena closer to reciprocate this kiss.

Feeling her professional head slipping, Serena managed to resist temptation and pulled herself away from the man before her "We'll talk keys later, but, if that stood as a ploy you know the score. Eleanor is back from University tonight, Christmas break... A large present of her washing"

"Damn you, Ms Campbell"

"Now go, before I lose my mind" Serena a cheeky nudge to his shoulder "Distractions and sauntering behaviour are not on my agenda today"

"What you gonna do _sack_ me?" Ric flirted the idea, before leaning in close as if he were to kiss her, but pulled away with a grin and making a sharp exit.

Knowing romancing in the work place stood on dangerous ground, knowing that dating colleagues had as many disadvantages as advantages, Serena found herself smiling, for now there were no negatives, not even Edward, whose appearance was yet to surface, but seemingly fell unnoticed.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Returning from Theatre, having successfully operated on her elective, Serena headed out on to Keller Ward, just to have a sneaky overlook on the running of the ward. Surprise came when two uniformed officers approached her; they had just been at her office and thus informed she was in Theatre on Keller.

"Ms Campbell?"

"Yes"

"DI Phillip Macintosh, my colleague DS Sophie Jordan, may we have a word"

"I'm a little busy, hospital to run, patients to see"

"It's important we speak with you, we tried to call at your house" Phillip spoke, the second in command to the case.

Serena's first thoughts fell to dread, dread over Eleanor, her pride, and joy. "We'll talk in the Consultant's Office" Serena directed them round, thankfully Michael was out, sitting down behind the desk came second nature to her. She could read their faces this was bad news. "Is this...?"

"... We believe you are the ex-wife to Edward Campbell" Phillip begun

"One of two..." Serena quipped not taking things seriously.

"Ms Campbell, Edward's car was found just off the A38"

"What are you saying, when...? _How?_"

"A dog walker found his car early this morning, crashed, and abandoned" Sophie spoke in a low tone

"... Edward..."

"A body has been found bottom of a bridge in Cleve Wood; our Forensic teams believe the body has been there approximately between one am and three am, Sunday the fifteenth..." Sophie added

Serena froze, that lay hours after he left Tortworth Court, "He's dead?"

"I'm afraid it looks likely, we have his mother coming to ID his body, for official confirmation" Phillip took control of the conversation "Are you aware of the difficulties that Edward found himself in?"

"Difficulties? Edward may work here and is my colleague, and we have a daughter, but we don't share personal stories"

"We found a number of questionable items in Edward's car, following up leads we believe this led to him taking his own life"

"Suicide? You surely are mistaken; Edward wouldn't take his own life"

"I am ever so sorry Ms Campbell" Sophie chipped in "It does look that way"

"Amongst letters showing that Edward had debts of two point five million pounds, a letter from the GMC, stating that he would be struck off and unable to practice" Phillip shot facts to Serena, yet it seemed a blur to her, none of this made sense.

"If that was the case, I would _know_, Edward had some financial crisis after his second divorce, but the salary he has now, more than covered that" Serena paused "And as for being struck off, as CEO, I assure you I would no these details from relevant sources"

"But you didn't" Phillip interjected "We also found a note, which references you and the night of December fourteenth, is there something you wish to tell us?"

Serena's mind raced, she knew what this meant, and it was not something she wanted to remember or think about, Serena already buried and forgotten about it. "No" Serena sighed,

"We believe this note is Edward's suicide note, we have had a forensic psychologist study the use of language, she interprets that the altercation between yourself & Edward led him to take his own life"

"So it's _my_ fault" The only words Serena could muster.

"No, that is not what we are saying," Phillip responded. "It would be useful to hear your account for the events that in which your paths crossed with Edward on the night of the fourteenth"

Reluctantly recounting those events, Serena told the story of how a drunk Edward rocked up uninvited to the Board of Trustees dinner, revealing how he had spent the morning phoning and texting her, how he forced himself upon her and if her colleague had not made an appearance Edward would have taken full advantage of his power. Serena's words only confirmed the police's thoughts, Edward was a man on the bottom of an episodic breakdown, the empty alcohol bottles also found in his car spoke volumes, his rash behaviour, and this was not premeditated. Who knew what else they had to uncover, Edward had kept lid on things without revealing his troubles.

Ii - ~~ - iI

With the police officers now out of the hospital, Serena found herself in a state of shock, no sadness, just pure shock - it did not seem real, it could not be real. Left with the task of informing her daughter, she had no idea how to reveal the news, because she felt telling the truth would destroy Eleanor's heart.

Heading outside into the cold December air, Serena found a quite spot away from prying eyes and pulled out her mobile, and only hoped her daughter was not driving. As the phone rang, Serena wondered whether she was doing the right thing, wondered whether she should wait until Eleanor arrived home.

"Mum.." Eleanor answered

"Hey, sweetie. Where are you?"

"Service station, I got hungry... Didn't have breakfast this morning..."

"Eleanor, you know skipping breakfast is bad"

"Please don't say you called me so you could give me a lecture"

"No, I need you to come straight to the hospital, rather than home"

"Why?"

"It's important"

"Is it Gran?" Eleanor quizzed

Serena took a moment, the main reason why she did not want Eleanor going straight home, as she knew there would be street whispers that would most likely knocking around to know why the police were at her house. "It's not Gran; I just need you to come here, my office"

"The _big_ office"

Serena smiled at Eleanor's comment "Yes"

"Can't I just drop my stuff off first?"

"Ellie..."

_"Fine_... I'll be about an hour"

"Okay, see you later" Serena sighed

"Yeah bye..." Eleanor replied before hanging up, feeling annoyed that her mother was dragging her into her work place; all she wanted to do was go home, unpack and chill out, unaware that devastating news lay ahead, news that would destroy her life.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Serena's elective on Keller had taken a turn for the worst and needed emergency surgery, and as it was, her patient Serena took full charge of the operation, meaning she never met Eleanor upon arrival. Thus leaving Eleanor feeling rather hacked off that her mother insisted that she should come to the hospital.

When Serena finally appeared in her office, she found herself met with a barrage of unwelcome remarks from Eleanor. Serena felt informing her daughter that her father had committed suicide would be a step too far, but none the less, she needed to tell her daughter and went with the softer option, saying he died in an accident.

Yet the news still rocked Eleanor's world, unlike Serena, Eleanor broke down with emotion, the man she looked up to, the father she adored had gone. Even though he never played a massive part in her life, when he was around he spoiled her rotten, a true daddy's girl.

Overcome with grief and emotion, Eleanor exhausted fell asleep on the sofa in Serena's office, with Serena knelt on the floor beside her, and comfortingly ran her hand through her daughter's hair. Serena now had to tackle her relationship with Ric, giving him a quick text, indicating that they needed to talk, Ric made a quick appearance, thinking this chat would be about him being able to get his house keys after the mishap this morning, but to a degree, he could not be more wrong.

Unaware that Eleanor was in the office, Ric entered without a second thought, after all Serena was expecting him. As she heard the door open, Serena stood up and approached Ric signalling for him to quieten down.

Spotting Eleanor a confused look crossed Ric's face; Eleanor being present was the last thing he expected. "Everything okay"

Serena shook her head, as she walked over to her desk and perching herself upon it. Closing the office door, Ric approached her and took her hands; he could sense something was not right.

"It's Edward..."

Jumping to conclusions Ric glanced to Eleanor and then back at Serena "Has he hurt her?"

"No, god no"

Narrowing his eyes, Ric felt doubtful, after witnessing Edward's behaviour Saturday night, he would not put it past him "What has happened?"

"He's dead"

_"Edward"_

"No the Dalai Lama, of course I mean Edward"

"Sorry... How, when?"

"They said the early hours of Sunday morning, and it wasn't an accident"

Ric had no idea how to react, "Serena, I ..."

"I don't feel anything over this, it's Eleanor I feel sad for"

"Understandable"

Releasing her hands from Ric's Serena stood up and rested her hands on his chest "I don't want to end what we have going on here, you make me happy, I've not felt like _that_ in a long time. But I.. Eleanor, she needs me, look at her, she's a broken young girl, I can't focus on us, or whatever it is we have right now"

Ric nodded "It is a fair point"

"Just until the dust settles, and I know she is in an okay place"

"Of course, I will be there for you, at a distance"

Serena placed a kiss on Ric's lips, he skipped his hands around her waist, feeding on their closeness, knowing this would stand at the last moment they would have together with the current circumstances.

Parting, Serena gave a small smile, and put talk of their relationship to bed "You need to collect your keys"

"Hmmm"

Breaking herself away from Ric, Serena picked out her spare house keys and her car keys. "Take my car, go to my place and do a key switch, and this time I owe that cab fare"

"How will you get back" Ric quizzed

"I'll take Eleanor's car, she is in no state to drive, listen I know you're not insured on my car, so be careful"

"I will, I promise"

"Good, I don't fancy losing you either"

"You won't" Ric placed one final kiss on Serena's cheek "You know where I am if you need me"

Leaving clutching both sets of keys in his hand, Ric knew he was powerless in this situation, whatever he thought of Edward following Saturday night, he could not escape the fact that he was Serena's ex husband, and the father to the broken teenager that lay sleeping in Serena's office. Death was not the ideal circumstance to start flaunting a new relationship. Taking a step back and letting Serena deal with Eleanor was the only thing that made sense.

* * *

**A/N 3 - Is Serena unaffected by grief, is she just in shock or is there a hidden bunch of feelings waiting to flood out?**

**Hope you enjoyed this installment :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Firstly, thanks once again for all the reviews :)**

**A/N - This chapter was originally a lot longer and had an extra part to it, but I've now scrapped it, it really didn't work. Hope it is still okay for you all.**

* * *

The Funeral - Monday 23rd December.

The day of Edward's funeral arrived, the funeral was being held in Kent, Edward's mother Sophia saw it fit that the funeral take place in Edward's home town, the town that she still lived in. Sophia also wanted the funeral sooner, rather than later.

The night before the funeral Serena and Eleanor stayed in a hotel, Ric too although he had a separate room, they had told Eleanor that he was there are Edward's colleague and showing a forefront as Clinical Lead of AAU. When in reality, Ric was there as moral support for Serena, this stood as the first time since she revealed Edward had died that they were to spend time together, even at work Serena kept her distance.

Pulling up in the cemetery, Serena felt the day hitting home, although not feeling emotional, she felt a sadness she a shameful feeling inside. She just sat in the car, in silence. Something that Eleanor found amusing.

"Why are we just sitting here?" She quizzed

"I just need a minute"

Eleanor rolled her eyes and looked out the car window, she spotted a familiar face from her childhood. A girl the same age as her, who lived next door to Sophia "Mum, I'm gonna go say Hi to Claire... That okay. I'll wait out front so we can go in together"

"Of course" Serena smiled to her daughter through the mirror.

Ric saw that as the moment to get out of the car, so Eleanor could. Once Eleanor was out the way, Ric peered back into the car "You alright?"

"Yeah" Serena looked to him before getting out of the car, the cold air hit her as she wrapped her scarf around her. Something inside her stopped her from moving away from her car, this prompted Ric to come to her side. "Ric, I don't know what I'm doing here, I haven't even shed a tear"

"You're here because you are saying goodbye," Ric firmly stated, giving her arm a squeeze, it felt the best he could do physically.

"I'm not wanted here, invited purely because Edward and I have a child"

"I'm sure that is not true"

"They know Ric, I could hear it in Sophia's voice, the blame is _all_ on me... Her precious son took his own life because of _me_" Serena felt a little unsettled, she knew Edward's family would have seen the suicide note, and read the details of Edward's assault upon Serena.

"She is wrongly blaming you, regardless with what was going inside his head, he did wrong, and he crossed a line. Then something flipped, not your fault"

"If I had just let him stay, do what he needed to do... He might not have killed himself"

"Don't guilt trip yourself" Ric remarked firmly "You did nothing wrong, I was there, I saw him and I knew what his intentions were and if they believe that warrants his suicide as your fault, then they are undeserving of sympathy, or any form of relationship with yourself and Eleanor. So hold that head up high"

Serena gave a smile "Thanks. Voice of reason, that's what you are"

Ric shrugged, he personally wasn't too sure "Shall we?"

Serena gave a nod, locked up her car, and started to walk ahead, Ric a few paces behind. As they reached the building, Serena spotted a face in the small gathering crowd that she did not want to see, and Ric could not help but notice the young woman in a short black dress, bleach blonde hair and lots of fake tan who appeared in hysterics.

"Who is that?" Ric questioned

"Mindy" Serena replied, catching the look Ric had given the young woman, Serena rolled her eyes, men were all the same "Someone should tell her this is a funeral, not an X-factor sob story"

"The _other_ wife?"

"Yes"

"She's..."

"Young, pretty... The object to all men's desires"

"A bit OTT" Ric corrected Serena "And very young, Edward mentioned he had been married six years"

"Surprising isn't it, he managed three years with me, yet somehow six with the child bride, a kick in the teeth"

"So she is what?"

"Twenty-three.. Twenty-four? She was seventeen when they met and married seven months after meeting. What does she have that I haven't? Serena paused "... Don't answer that.."

"She isn't a threat" Ric went ahead and answered Serena

"What?"

"She is not a threat, look at her. That is a woman a man can provide for, not particularly intelligent yet intelligent enough to stand on her own two feet, she's all appearances and glamour, typical older guy would want to hang on to that for as long as possible"

"Oh, that is a nice way of stating that I'm an ugly frump, thanks Ric.."

"No, that is not why I am saying, you're a gorgeous woman, but you have intelligence, ambition, you knew where you wanted to go in life and wouldn't let anything get in the way"

"Hmmm, Carry on"

"That makes you a threat, no man wants his wife to become the main breadwinner, it feels insulting"

"That is bullshit" Serena stated "And does that makes it perfectly acceptable for numerous of affairs, just because I am career focused"

"Of course not, it makes Edward an _idiot_, who realised it all too late"

Serena smiled "So if I'm such a threat, why are you sticking around?"

"I've done the DOS thing... never again will I tread that board. And we're both mature adults, top of our game career wise; you stand as no threat to my ego"

Serena flashing an adoring smile, Ric somehow managed to have the right words, she was not going to fear a battle of the ex-wives between herself and Mindy, and she knew that of Edward's family made any remarks, she knew there was Ric who would support her. She wanted to thank him with a kiss to the lips, but she knew that would not stand as an appropriate move, nor would it seem appropriate to link her arm around his. Therefore, she just maintained the smile as Eleanor rejoined her.

Ii - ~~ - iI

After an uneventful and quiet funeral, guests headed to the wake, which took place at Sophia Campbell's home. This setting left Serena feeling uncomfortable; she had not been here for over fifteen years. The house had not changed much from the last time she found herself sat in the living room, the only difference stood as the people around her, the circumstances they were in. Despite Ric being by her side, she found the experience a little too uneasy, and even more so when she could not spot Eleanor. Brushing Ric's leg gently with her hand, Serena informed him she needed a few moments alone.

Heading out into the garden, Serena leaned against the cold wall, a few tears finally escaping her eyes. She had some found memories here, happier times, times in which she and Edward lived an idyllic life, loving and unbreakable. Where did it all go wrong? Why did Edward always have to appear as the thorn in her side? Why did he always play on her emotions? Serena realised there was a small part of her that would him, after all he played a massive role in her life, he somewhat made her the woman she was today, he gave her a child. Nevertheless, truthfully, she did not want to miss him, she did not want to feel anything for him, but with the funeral sinking in, so did the hidden emotions.

Wiping away the stray tears, Serena tried to get her emotions in check, when she noticed a smell in the air, and could hear the tap of someone's heels on the paving, as if they were trying to keep warm. Curiously, Serena headed round to the side of the house, her face instantly dropped when she saw who it was.

Shivering, and smoking her second cigarette of the past five minutes, stood Eleanor, she was not aware of her mother's presence.

_"Eleanor!"_

_"Shit_, mum" Eleanor stubbed out her cigarette and threw it on the floor.

"When did you start smoking?"

"Years ago" Eleanor shrugged

"How long is that?"

"I dunno, I was sixteen"

"Two years, Eleanor, I thought you knew better, you know my views on smoking"

"For god's sake, dad was cool with it"

"He knew, why doesn't that surprise me"

"You're happy he is dead" Eleanor remarked,

"That is not true" Although in her conflicted emotions it did ring, true "And don't change the subject... Smoking, Eleanor..."

"Urgh" Eleanor groaned, "It calms me down, stops the stress"

"Sweetheart, you know you can talk to me, you don't have to waste your life and money on those things"

"Talk, you care more about your work than me, and when we do talk, you just lie"

"I have never lied to you"

"You're lying now" Eleanor fumbled in her handbag and lit herself enough cigarette "I heard them talking"

"Heard who talking?"

"Mindy and Auntie Kathryn, they had a right bitch about you"

"... And their gossiping makes me a liar"

"The night dad died, they were saying you deserved what you had coming and that dad should have gone the whole way just to wipe the smug look off your face"

Serena looked to the floor, she knew what they were talking about, but those actions were not things she felt she could discuss with her daughter.

"Mum! What were they on about?"

"Nothing, I have no idea what they were referring to" Serena lied and hating that she was doing so, especially as her daughter started to question her.

"They said, dad was an idiot for killing himself because of you" Tears pricked Eleanor's eyes "You told me, Dad died in an accident. Did he take his own life... "

"... No... No Ellie, he didn't"

"Look me in the eye and tell me that"

Serena looked up at her daughter and hers said it all.

"Mum, _what_ happened?"

"It's not something we should talk about, not here, not now," Serena stated firmly

"So, you can make up more lies"

"No, of course not, I just, we should talk about this at home"

"Urgh" Eleanor felt frustrated "Does Ric know?"

"He knows the basics"

"Great, so he knows, everyone else knows, but me, your daughter, you can't even tell me" Eleanor looked at her mother in disgust "Why is Ric here?"

"Ric and your father were friends" That was at least a half truth ".. Ric and I also attended the Board of Trustees dinner, Ric witnessed..." Serena lost her words; she did not want to go into what he saw, not yet,

"You're all liars" Eleanor spat "Is it some guilty conscious, that why Ric is the only colleague from Holby here?"

"Eleanor, I couldn't sign off on all the staff in AAU to come today, As well as being your father's friend, Ric is here representing AAU and the Pri Def unit. I told you this"

"I don't believe you"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews, other responces and to anyone who has taken the time to read.**

**A/N 1 - I did say this would stand at around 5/6 chapters - it's looking more 7/8, I had a little moment of inspiration.**

**A/N 2 - There is a moment in this chapter which I took from my own experiences, when I got news that someone close to me was not going to survive and that their cancer was now terminal, I made big changes to my life, ones that I said I would turn around in the next year or so (2 years down the line - I haven't) **

**Hope you enjoy this installment :)**

* * *

Following arriving home from the funeral Serena explained to her daughter the truth of her father's death. However, Eleanor being Eleanor had decided that enough was enough and she was heading back to University and to spend her Christmas in her Halls of Residence, that was Christmas Eve, and Serena had no will to keep Eleanor at home, she was eighteen after all, an adult who had to live her own life. Although she worried for her daughter, Serena thus threw herself into work and it seemed to work for her. Work was the only thing she could do, but on this cold Saturday afternoon she realised she did not want to feel alone anymore, she had found a glimmer of happiness and to shun it away, but now it was time to put herself first. Life is too short, and she had to re-grasp the opportunity, before it became too late.

Knowing Ric had returned from a few days away having visited his daughter Jess, she knew it was time to close this distance, and hopefully pick up where they left off. Picking up her iPhone from the coffee table, Serena called Ric;

"Hello" Ric answered

'Hi, Ric it's me..."

He smiled at the sound of her voice "You okay?"

"Yeah, I erm, are you busy?"

"Not doing anything in particular"

"Come over" Serena replied in a forward manner.

"Isn't Eleanor at home?"

"No" Serena replied bluntly "She left, we got back from the funeral, we talked, she got angry, we had a row and she packed her bags and left the next morning"

"You've been on your own since then?"

"It is fine, I went in to work, and I figured Eleanor needs to grief without me, in her own space"

".. Oh, _Serena,_ You worked _all_ Christmas?"

"I had nothing better to do, my mother didn't want to see me, and she preferred the company of her friends at the home"

"You should have called me; you could have spent Christmas with me"

"I'm calling you now aren't I?"

"Yes" Ric grinned

"So, my offer?"

"I suppose I could make myself available, have you eaten?"

"No, what do you have in mind?"

"I could fetch us something, anything particular take your fancy?"

"Surprise me" Serena grinned and she gave a happy sigh as she hung up, a happy warm glow filling her body, a bit of fun and loving was what she needed right now, just some time where she put herself first.

Ii - ~~ - iI

A ring to the doorbell, pricked Serena out of her daze, she had not been thinking of anything really, but found her mind wandering off to nowhere truly thought provoking. As the doorbell rung again, Serena figured she had better answer the door, knowing that it was Ric and she had invited him over.

Upon opening the door, a baffled yet amused look fell upon Serena's face as she saw the items Ric was holding, he held a large Dominos Pizza box in one hand and had a bottle of Red Wine in the other.

"Surprised?"

_"Very_" Serena smiled

"Went all adventurous and got a half and half, you're lucky one half is Ham, Green Peppers and Onion" Ric grinned, he has remembered Serena's strange taste in Pizza toppings from a late night post operation Pizza the surgical team on Keller once had "Might need to bung it in the oven for a bit, just to warm it up"

"Well, I suppose I better let you in then"

"That or I could bugger off and leave this with you"

"Not a chance" Serena smirked taking the wine from him and heading through to the kitchen and heading straight for the draw where she kept her trusty bottle opener.

His eyes widening, Ric closed the front door and soon followed her through to the kitchen, seeing that she was busy preoccupied with opening up the Wine, Ric placed the lukewarm Pizza into the oven.

Before Serena knew it, a familiar hand took a place on her waist "You know I'd like a glass myself, after all I was planning on sticking around"

Grinning she turned to face him "You, me and a bottle of wine, we'll be heading for trouble"

"Only because _you're_ involved" Ric leant in and spoke in almost a whisper, he catching the scent of her perfume, Dior Midnight Poison he placed a light kiss near her ear, and continued to linger by her closely.

_".. Ric..."_ Serena's voice aired a sense of the need to resist, yet somehow the fight to stop their lips meeting didn't hold strong enough, in a brief tender moment ".. Pizza.."

Ric exhaled, more often than none he had discovered there was always something that had to break the moment, however, this time it was a logical reason, he neither wanted to waste the fifteen-ninety-nine he had spent on the Pizza, nor would Serena appreciate a house fire.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Evening came, and in the dimly lit living room of Serena's home, the muted TV flashed and array of colours as both Ric and Serena relaxed in each other's company, her legs draped over his thighs, one hand interlocking with the others. They had spent the time talking everything but topics relating to Edward or Eleanor, even the subject of work lay out of the question. However, for the past seven or so minutes they had sat in silence, holding a gaze; that was until a smirk crossed Serena's face.

"I've decided"

"Decided _what?_" Ric questioned, noting Serena's strange declaration

"I'm not letting you out my sights for the next twenty-four hours"

"Should I be worried?"

"Maybe"

"What do you have in mind" Ric grinned knowing what Serena would have on the agenda, in the short time they had become intimate he had learnt what that look suggested.

Like in the boardroom, and in medicine Serena liked to reign control in the bedroom too, that's not to say she'd never let a man love her and take lead, because she would let that happen, she has let it happen, but Serena liked to create the fire, fuel the sparks, sprinkle the spice. Lowering her tone, she smiled "I could show you if you like"

Ric often found himself drawn to woman from all walks of life, and he knew the sexually confident woman all too well, a species that he would say brought out the primal in a man. Giving a gentle tug of hand Ric pulled Serena towards him. Straddled on Ric's lap, Serena brought her lips to his, she had no desire to tease or delay the impending passion.

Unknowingly, a sad and broken figure had snuck into the house. The young woman could not take no more of the loneliness, having thought it was what she needed, Eleanor had become trapped in a dwindling spiral, Christmas spent locked away in her Halls of Residences flat, with only alcohol as her friend, she blotted out the outside world. Yet one small action of her own doing led to a feeling of regret and all she wanted was her mum.

She almost held some resentment towards her mother; she missed her father but hated him too, for what he did, for taking his own life. It left Eleanor confused and fighting the barrage of emotions that came with grief.

Quietly entering her home, Eleanor knew her mother was in, she could see the flash from the television outside, yet the house lay in darkness, wearily she heading towards the living room, and pushed the door that was slightly ajar, peering into the room, she saw two figures in a passionate clinch. Eleanor did not think she could feel much more devastation, but the feelings rocked.

"You are sick," She screamed, forcing the lovers to part

Knowing the voice, Serena momentarily caught sight of her daughter's tear-stained eyes glistening in the darkness, before she saw he daughter dart out of the room. Pulling herself away from Ric, she straightened out her top and went in search for her daughter, her priority.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Thundering upstairs, Serena found herself confronted by a slammed door, and the sounds of hysterics from inside her daughter's bedroom. Taking a moment to consider what she would be up against; Serena braced herself before entering the room.

_"Eleanor"_

"Piss off"

"Don't you dare speak to me like that"

"You're sick mum, how could you" Eleanor's tearful response left Serena reeling

"Explain"

"I get Dad was a bastard in the past, and that night, but he's been dead what two weeks and you're already moving on"

"I moved on from your father a long time before he died"

"You denying it now, is this your reaction to him being _dead?_ Shag the next thing that shows you attention"

"I don't appreciate your tone"

"And I don't appreciate _your_ lies"

"What lies this time?"

"I thought you would have mentioned it, shown that you miss him by name. I've been waiting for you to tell me... Dad told me"

"Told you what"

"That you were back together or near enough"

".. Now that is a lie"

"Dad wouldn't lie to me, I've got the texts"

"Sweetheart, your father, and I were never going to get back together"

"Whatever" Eleanor snapped throwing her phone on the floor "Read them"

_'Ellie, need a favour. Thinking of getting your mum something nice, treat her she deserves it. Got a few ideas, want to know what you think. Dad x'_

_'Yh sure, does this mean?'_

_'It's early days, and I think she'll want to tell you herself. So it never came from me, okay. Dad x'_

_'Gd! I'm gld, knew u wud gt bk 2getha 1 day :)'_

Serena took a few deep breaths, and noted the date on the texts, they dated back to a month ago, "Eleanor, I swear to you that your father and I, we weren't in a relationship. I think that is what he would have liked"

"Why would he say it?"

"He was heading down a path of destruction, he was ill Ellie, we just didn't see it" Serena sat on the bed next to her daughter "I wanted to protect you from all this, don't you understand, I told you he died in an accident for a reason"

"Still doesn't explain why you're all over Ric, really mum, what kind of person gets into a relationship when someone they spent a lot of time loving dies" Eleanor through a harsh look towards her mother, "Did dad know? Did you and Ric send Dad over the edge?"

That was a thought that had crossed through Serena's mind "No, the mountains of debt, the impending trial with the GMC, the fact that he... A lot of factors contributed to your father, losing the ability to see clear, Ric and I..."

"... He wasn't at the funeral for Dad was he, it was for you" Eleanor could not let it go; she really wanted to believe that her mum and dad had reunited and that her mother was yet to let her grief show.

"Eleanor"

"When did you two?"

"The night of the Board of Trustees Dinner" Serena replied, knowing she had to tell the truth.

_"Urgh"_ Eleanor responded, "Let me guess, Ric played the hero and you fell into it"

"It would have happened regardless of your father's presence that night"

"Gross"

"You wanted the truth"

"Next you'll be telling me, whilst I've been struggling with Dad dying you've been at it with Ric _all_ this time"

"No, when I found, Edward... Your father was dead, I put my relationship on hold, and I knew it wouldn't be fair on you. However, _you _weren't at home, _you_ left, and today is the first time we've had some time alone since that Monday"

"That supposed to make me feel better"

Serena did not know how to respond, "If you were struggling, you should have spoken to me"

"I'm quitting Uni" Eleanor replied, shifting the conversation to a completely new dimension.

"Oh, no. No you don't Eleanor"

"I don't wanna be there Mum, I can't. I've got essays due, I can't write them, I can't think, I don't want to be there anymore, it's crap, everything. I _can't_ do it"

"Sweetheart, you can get extensions on your essays...circumstances can get taken into account"

"I'm not going back, not for this year. Maybe next year I will go back, just not now"

What could Serena do, she could hardly force her daughter to go back to University, this prompted a thought in Serena's mind, a thought that she was yet to reveal "... I know you won't change your mind, so if that's how it you want it, there will be some changes going on around here"

"Like what" Eleanor quizzed

"Never you mind" Serena replied "Now, I'm not going to get angry with you, but you need to apologise to Ric for the way you acted when you came in"

_"But..."_

"Just do it and I will help you unload your car"

"I'll be down in five"

Ii - ~~ - iI

Returning downstairs, Serena entered a brightly lit living room, Ric was pacing about, having cleaned up the empty pizza box, the wine glasses, and the wine empty wine bottle. He had contemplated leaving mother and daughter to sort out whatever the needed to sort out he was to leave a note.

"You thinking of leaving?"

"I'd hate to get in the way"

"My hidden dysfunctional life starting to show... Scaring you off?"

"No, I..."

"I said I wasn't letting you out my sights"

"I think you'll find you did"

"Aren't we a clever one" Serena teased, "You're staying put"

"... And Eleanor?"

"She... She'll be okay"

"Just _okay?_"

"Hmmm, if I make the right decision myself, I'm sure I can get her through this"

"What decision is that?" Ric quizzed, hoping this would not come as a breakup.

"Giving that Eleanor has decided to quit University, and I failed at being there for her in recent weeks, I will step down as CEO"

"You're giving up what you've always wanted"

"She's my daughter, Ric; I can't keep letting her down. All the hours I give to my _bloody_ job, I put the important things at risk. You and Eleanor, I wouldn't want to lose either of you"

"Chances like this don't come around often"

"... And I only have _one_ child, I know I've a terrible mother and I still can't get it right. I've got to make changes to _my_ life, I don't know what I'd do if I lost my little girl to this mess, she needs my support. I have to give that to her" Serena walked towards Ric and placed her hands on his chest "... And it will give us more time together, if you want that"

"More than anything" Ric pulled her close and placed a kiss on her head, although happy Ric sensed there was more trouble to come, but was he right?

* * *

**A/N 3 - What spanner could I put in the works next? **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N 1 - This chapter I drew on a lot of my own feelings and some of my actions when I became bereaved just under two years ago now, I sort of knew where I was going with this chapter but in the final sections I really took a turn that I didn't think I would, doing a lot of research for the upcoming chapter(s)**

* * *

New Year's Eve, and A+E was already filled with early drunk party goers, alongside other minor injuries and accidents, nothing major yet the overspill came straight through to AAU, a particular patient accompanied by her roaring friend caused a stir on AAU.

The young woman had gone round to her friends to make early party preparations, for the pair it was also a chance to catch up and with no parents in sight; it was a chance to run wild. However, the conversation took a turn for the worse, and this wayward woman took off in a flurry of anger. It was not until one hour before the party did Gabby even think of her best bud Eleanor; her belongings were still in the house, so she clearly had not gone home. Half an hour later Gabby found herself needing to call in the paramedics and cancel her party, Eleanor was in a bad way, and no one had seen her like this before.

Surrounded by medics and rushing Eleanor straight into AAU, blind drunk, unconscious to the world, wrists purposely slashed, this was a young girl on breaking point, and had hidden her true pain well.

Ric, Clinical Lead to AAU took on the case, unsuspecting of who this patient was, he headed over to Mary-Claire and Harry who were already taking decisive action.

"This is Eleanor Campbell, deep lacerations to both wrists..." Harry begun, also unaware of whom this young girl was.

"Wait, Mr Griffin is that?" Mary-Claire jumped in, she remembered the name, the face.

Ric did not even need to look at Eleanor to know who it was, and he could see the quivering friend lurking behind. "Not a word of this leaves the ward, not until I've spoken to Ms Campbell" Ric looked to Gabby "I need you to tell me what happened"

".. _Mr Griffin_" Mary-Claire threw Ric a look, feeling he should at least be helping.

"Dr Levy can give you a hand" Ric replied, he would not usually be so dismissive of a patient, but this was Serena's daughter and he needed to let her know before anyone else did. Yet he did almost feel like it would stand as his duty to treat Eleanor, purely because she was Serena's daughter, but first he needed the bare facts.

Ii - ~~ - iI

The sound of Ric's voice unnerved Serena as she left Keller, and made her way down to AAU, what was he after? Why did he seem so secretive and keen to see her? They had a rule, their personal relationship was in no way to step foot into the hospital, they had been somewhat careless before, but they decided they wanted the fun and the secrecy of their relationship, just for now, just until it fell to the right time to go public.

So she felt unsure about what he wanted, upon entering AAU she could feel faces look at her, as Ric instantly guided her into his office.

"Ric, what's going on?"

"You need to sit down"

"I really don't think that is necessary"

_"Serena_" Ric was firm and somehow is tone allowed Serena to realise that this was serious.

"Mum..." She whispered, fearing that her mother had actually hidden another ill spout.

"No" Ric replied "Serena, just sit down"

Serena nervously started to play with her hands as she sat down, if it was not her mother, then is could only stand as one other person, her pride and joy. "_Eleanor"_

Ric's face said it all, her heart pounded, she could feel herself almost shake with fear "Where is she?"

"She is safe, alive, but not out of the woods"

"How... _How_ did this happen?" Serena found herself froze to the spot, terrified of what Ric would tell her, she almost did not want to know.

"Gabby found her" Ric sighed "You may not like what I'm going to tell you" Ric pulled up a chair at sat opposite Serena, the only other time he had seen Serena this close to breaking down emotionally was after her mother had a stroke.

"Just tell me, I _need_ to know"

"Eleanor, she locked herself in the bathroom at Gabby's and had drunk a 75cl bottle of vodka, there was also a smashed wine glass which she used to self harm" Ric paused "Her intoxicated state and blood loss caused her to pass out, we're..."

"I'm taking her up to Keller" Serena fought back the tears, every part of her wanted to crumble, but she couldn't.

"It's not a good idea, you can't"

"I can do what the bloody hell I like" Serena snapped

"We've had a similar conversation before, if this was any other member of staff you would hang them out to dry for treating a family member, you're not treating her Serena, "

"Oh, shut up Ric. As far as I'm concerned I'm still the CEO of the place, I can treat her if I want to"

"You don't think the board will care"

"Screw the board, she is _my_ daughter and I am taking her up to Keller, whether you like it or not" Serena glared at Ric, she wasn't going to back down on this one, breaking her icy glare Serena stormed out the office slamming the door behind her, and started to dish out orders. However, there was one thing she could not do, not just yet. She could not even look at Eleanor. Her eyes glazing over with a warm teary appearance, Serena made a sharp exit as her colleagues began to make the necessary precautions to transfer Eleanor up to Keller.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Hours passed, and in a curtained off bay Serena kept vigil around Eleanor. Fluids were constantly pumped throughout Eleanor's body flushing her stomach and a intravenous drip giving her body the vital blood sugars and vitamins she needed to help recover. Her deep cuts were now maintained, stitched, and bandaged. Serena had never seen anyone appear so fragile before, she didn't think it was possible and that it was all a myth, in all of her working years she had never come across anything like it before and it hurt that her first hand experience of it was a patient who happened to be her daughter.

What hurt more was the brief moment Eleanor awoken from her slumber and  
vomited several times, a nurse attempted to help Serena clean Eleanor up, but Serena instantly dismissed the young woman.

Changing her own daughter into a clean gown, Serena noticed the true extent of Eleanor's path to self-destruction. She found a number of healing cuts on Eleanor's thighs; she could not imagine what the final damage on Eleanor's wrists would look like. No young woman should have to feel and hide so much pain; they should not feel the need to harm their own bodies in such way.

Serena felt so disheartened, as she just watched her daughter in a slumber, to know Eleanor was hurting far more than she knew; Serena started to question what she did wrong as a mother. Sitting there watching Eleanor felt traumatic, torturing. Serena was unaware of anyone entering the curtained off bay, a hand fell on her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. Clasping on to the hand Serena instantly knew it was Ric; he had stayed on an extra couple of hours to help in AAU and thought before heading home that he should see how things were.

"How is she?" He asked, although he could see she did not look okay.

"Stable" Serena could feel the tears starting to fall once more, but she instantly wiped them away "Ric, I ... How could I not see this coming"

"... Teenagers, master of disguise when it comes to emotions"

"It's that supposed to make me feel better"

"No, I just..." Ric sighed he couldn't find the words needed "... Do you want to get a coffee?"

"I can't leave her"

"She'll be looked after, you've got Dr Sutton on duty, and I see Arthur is still around, they will page you if you're needed" Ric paused as he saw how hesitant Serena felt "You need a break, at least get yourself some air"

Ii - ~~ - iI

Having obtained a coffee each from Pulses, which was surprisingly still open considering it had just gone ten pm; Serena and Ric walked the grounds of Wyvern Wing, and ended up by the metal emergency exits stairs to the rear of the building. Serena sat herself down on the cold icy stairs, still silent and jaded, Ric watched as she shivered, the warmth of her coffee not enough to warm her up. In fairness, Serena had not brought her coat, so it was no wonder she found herself shivering. Placing his briefcase and coffee down, he took off his coat, and draped it over her shoulders and then sat himself beside her.

Serena looked across to Ric, giving him a warm smile as to say 'thank you' for the coat, but the smile turned to sadness as tears filled Serena's eyes and for the first time tonight, she let herself cry. It took Ric a moment or two to respond, and he did so with a small gesture of placing his hand on her back and rubbing gently.

"I think she's been harming herself for weeks, I found a lot of old cuts, I should have seen it, her behaviour since Edward died has been so erratic, suddenly she is never out of long-sleeved tops.. She..."

" Grief can do this kind of things, she's a young girl, life is complicated enough, and death of a parent can't have been easy for her"

"I'm her mother, I _should_ notice these things, Ric, she has cried out for support and I didn't see it"

"You've been there for her; she's the one who left home for a while"

Those words seemed to trigger a terrible thought in Serena's mind "She was alone, what if she was in halls alone and this happened, I wouldn't know, she could have died, alone and unfound for days" through her tears Serena took a sip of her now lukewarm coffee "I'm a _terrible_ mother"

"Serena"

"It's true... I would not blame you for walking away, Christ I would if it was me"

"You think I'd do that to you?" Ric questioned, "I may have spent my life being a coward and running away from situations, but I'm not getting any younger and it's time to stop running from those who are important to me"

"Such a gentleman you're turning out to be" Serena smiled wiping away her tears "I'm scared Ric"

"What of?"

"Eleanor, I'm scared of what she will do, and I'm not sure I can deal with her like this"

"You can and you will" Ric reassured Serena "Things _will_ work out"

"You don't know that" Serena sighed "I should get back to her, will you stay.. Just for a while, please?"

"Of course"

Ii - ~~ - iI

Still draped in Ric's coat, Serena walked up the stairwell with Ric by her side, in the small moments they walked together in subtle closeness; Ric had managed to make her laugh. It felt like such a beautiful moment, one that led her to place a kiss on Ric's cheek as she took his hand grateful that he was there. Right now Serena did not care if anyone saw, there were bigger things to fear other than gossip about her relationship with Ric. As they stood on the stairwell only steps away from the third floor, a crazed laugh came from above them. Serena looked up and to her horror; she saw Eleanor sat on the railings, her legs dangling freely.

"Ellie, what are you doing? You should be in bed" Serena took a couple of steps towards her daughter.

"Don't come any closer I'll let myself fall" Eleanor replied, it was evident the alcohol had not yet wore off despite the medical intervention or her earlier vomiting.

_"Eleanor_" Serena's voice croaked, hearing those words rocketed her world, she thought today couldn't get any worse. "Ellie, you need to get down"

"I don't have to"

Serena looked to Ric, she was holding back so much anger that had suddenly overcome her, she wanted to shout and scream at her daughter, but she could not.

"Eleanor, you need to listen to your mother, for your own safety" Ric responded, hoping he could edge himself closer to her.

"I said stay back" Eleanor shouted, she was holding all the cards. As she focused upon her mother and Ric, Eleanor was unaware of the presence of Elliot heading down stairs; he was working a rare late night, and spotted Eleanor.

"Can I ask what you are doing there?" He asked standing only metres away from her.

"Hoping to fucking die, now stay back" Eleanor replied shifting her focus to Elliot.

"Elliot" Serena called up, making him aware that there was other staff around "... That's my daughter"

"Right, right" Elliot pondered "Are you there alone"

"No Ric's here"

"Serena, I'm going to head upstairs back on to Darwin, I'm going to call your mobile"

Serena could almost second guest Elliot's intentions, and although it felt embarrassing, Serena felt glad that there was someone else aware of the situation. "Okay" she called back.

"That's it you piss off" Eleanor sneered as she let her hands release from the banister as she balanced freehanded on the stairwell.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Unable to watch her daughter's foolish behaviour, she just focused on Ric, who quietly observed the situation, feeling powerless and unable to resolve things. As Serena's mobile rang, she ignored and Ric coached her to answer her phone. Walking away from Ric, Serena heading down to the second floor and out the doors, she figured whatever Elliot needed to say, he did not want Eleanor to hear, and she should hear her mother's reactions either.

"Elliot"

"Serena, I know you're the big boss, but I need you to listen to me"

"Fine" Serena replied sounding subdued, everything around her felt confused and unreal, she felt unreal.

"You know we have to call psych"

"That is not necessary" Serena replied, even though the evidence before her spoke volumes, that was something she did not want to acknowledge.

"Ric would agree, and I know deep down you do"

"Elliot, she does _not_ need psych"

"She says she hopes to die"

Serena remained silent, she hoped that she imagined those words; she hoped that it was not true.

"I'm going to hang up and give them a call, I want you to go back out there and keep talking to her" Elliot continued, he had learnt a thing or two during the time he dates Sharon, and star F1's knowledge was rubbing off on him.

As Elliot hung up, Serena stood in the empty corridors, and fiddled with her necklace, she did not think she could face it, what was happening to her world, her daughter. It just did not make sense. Serena was only a few years older herself when her own father died in an accident, her life turned out okay, she never broke down and went off the rails, so why did Eleanor have such weakness.

Ii - ~~ - iI

In time Serena rejoined Ric out on the stairwell, neither had no sense of how to intervene, both where in this too closely, personal feelings clouding their judgement. Ric had even second-guessed what Elliot's call concerned and the pain in Serena's face told him all he needed to know. They stood hands interlocked watching Eleanor, kick her legs back and forth as she hummed the tune of 'Twinkle, Twinkle little star' repeatedly.

Her heart was breaking with every moment that went by, and it felt like a lifetime, a lifetime too long. As intervention finally arrived the world became a blur, Ric's hand squeezed Serena's tighter, as Eleanor struggled and fought off the medics.

Kicking, punching, and screaming out that she wanted to disappear and escape the lies and torment of her life Eleanor fought with all her might; determined not to find herself restrained. Crying out for her mother to save her, Serena's eyes filled with tears as she watched the doctor's sedate Eleanor, care and nurture her as if she was a newborn child.

Unable to take in the information, she could not focus on the words, all she could hear was Eleanor begging to save her, feeling her own world crash around her, her pride and joy carted off in a wheelchair Serena began to sob heavily "My baby... I'm sorry... so sorry..."

Pulling her to, Ric embraced her seeing Eleanor at breaking point was one thing, seeing Serena distraught was another, the woman of steel at her most vulnerable was another. He could not change what had just happened, he could not fix the situation but all he could do was stand as the support Serena needed, he could let her lean physically, emotionally upon him. He enjoyed his time with Serena and as colleagues, they had already seen many turbulent times, and as new lovers, they had seen darker times and those times were getting darker. Holding her tightly, Ric kissed her head softly and whispered "Shhh"

* * *

**A/N 2 - Where will it go for Eleanor? Will Ric and Serena's budding new relationship stand the test of time?**

**& thank you to all those who have read/reviewed and sent me messages via various mediums, hope you enjoyed. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello once more - Thanks again for the lovely responses, very much as always appreciated.**

**A/N 1 - I seem to keep developing ideas and paths for this fiction, so I am now unsure on how many chapters it will end up being - I hope that isn't a bad thing**

**A/N 2 - I was watching some oldish Holby (Not that old, as old Holby to me is the beginning series which I loved) It was series 10 I took a peek at, and there was a place referenced in this episode, which I have now included in this fiction. **

**Hope you enjoy this next instalment. **

* * *

It had been a week since Serena watched her daughter go into meltdown, and Eleanor found herself accommodated at The Rookery Clinic, a private clinic - Serena had decided she didn't want her daughter on NHS wards and subsequently let down by the system. Yet despite Serena seeking out the best for her daughter, it came at a price, a hefty price; Eleanor decided that she did not want to see her mother anymore.

This left Serena to do what Serena did best and that was work. She had not even revealed to Ric the true extent of Eleanor's requests, she shut him out too, after all the comfort he gave her in the hours after Eleanor's sectioning, the very next day she started to shut down, once she had heard that Eleanor blamed her for making her 'sick'.

Upon noticing Serena's car prominently parked outside Wyvern Wing, Ric decided enough was enough, and he needed to know what was going on, he after all was not doing the running, she was, and he needed to know whether he should continue to invest his time in their relationship. They had to both be either all in or not together at all, regardless of the complexity of everything.

Heading straight in to the CEO's office, Ric didn't even bother to knock, he just entered and found Serena engrossed in her laptop screen, it took her a moment it two before she looked up at him.

"What do you want?"

_"Answers..."_

"Ric, I'm busy.."

"Stop being so stubborn, stop trying to push me away Serena" Ric sniped "Why are you here, shouldn't you at least be with Eleanor, or is the throne _too_ precious to give up, I had a feeling you wouldn't stay true to your word"

_"Get out_! You have no bloody idea Ric, just get out" Serena snapped, how dare Ric judge her, when he had no knowledge of what was going on, how dare he suggest that she was putting her work first.

"I would understand if you'd talk to me"

Burying her face in her hands, Serena as she sighed heavily, "Eleanor doesn't want to see me, I moved her to The Rookery and she; she _hates_ me Ric. I thought I was doing good putting her in a private clinic, but again I'm incapable of doing anything right by my family" Serena looked up to Ric who had now perched himself on the desk beside her ".. I went to drop off some items she came down hurling abuse at me..."

".. Serena..."

".. I have Cunningham back, I can't take leave because their isn't the resources. The Locum cover for Keller is the best they can give, with regards to cutting my current work load and I have to sit out my notice as CEO because the decide now is the time to start playing by the ball when it comes to staff contracts. So I am sorry Ric, if me being here is such an issue for you, there isn't much else I can do" Serena became worked-up and emotional, the strain of her daughters wellbeing was starting to take its toll ".. And to top it off, I've got the hospital gossiping, ex-husband dead by suicide and a daughter going the same way, she is _eighteen_ Ric and people are talking about her like she is a piece of meat"

"You know I'm here for you, why try to deal with this on your own"

"Because I don't want to destroy our relationship with this mess"

"Pushing me away will destroy it just as much" Ric took Serena's hand "I care about you and Eleanor"

Closing her eyes for a few moments, Serena sighed once more before looking Ric in the eye "I don't deserve you right now"

Interrupting the moment, Serena's mobile rang, Ric observed as a Serena spoke on the phone, her voice expressing fear, yet also hope, but her eyes spoke of nothing but torment, Ric could only hear Serena's short and brief responses, but he had a strong feeling this phone call concerned Eleanor.

Upon hanging up Serena lightly placed her hand on Ric's arm "I have to go.."

"Everything okay?"

"I can only hope so, because if I lose my job for doing a disappearing act, I..."

"It won't come to that, is there anything I can do?"

"No... No, I'll call you when I have a clearer picture of things"

"Hmm" Ric nodded, he felt a little unconvinced, as that is what she said only a week ago, and it didn't happen.

Consciously placing a soft kiss on Ric's cheek, Serena gathered her coat and bag and headed out of the office without saying another word.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Not knowing what to expect, what to feel Serena turned up at The Rookery, as she headed to the main reception her heart pounded, she suddenly felt nervous, seeing as Eleanor was demanding to see her, it almost didn't feel right, it almost suggested to Serena that there was something wrong.

"Serena Campbell, I had a call about Eleanor" Serena spoke to the receptionist, the third met, in as many visits.

"Okay, if you just take a seat, I will see if Dr Garrett is ready for you"

"Thanks" Serena smiled and she took a seat, focusing on her surrounding, the tranquil ambience did not seem to rub off on her, yet it was the first time she acknowledged it, picking up a magazine off the coffee table, Serena rolled her eyes with cynicism as she ran her fingers over her necklace. An act the stood as almost a comfort blanket when she felt uncertainty.

Moments later Dr Emma Garrett, Eleanor's psychotherapist entered the reception area, with the receptionist in tow, who returned to her desk.

"Ms Campbell, I am glad you could come down so promptly" The doctor smiled "If you'd like to follow me please"

Serena half smiled, and followed the Doctor round, not knowing what to expect, Serena felt as if she was walking in a world of limbo, an empty wilderness, a darkened cave. It was a lonely place, she had never experienced such feelings before, she always had an inner-strength that powered her on, but when it came to her daughter's newfound turmoil and destruction, Serena felt powerless.

"Eleanor is currently in our Art Therapy room, she took herself there after we called you" Dr Garrett spoke once more "I wouldn't usually condone patients such privileges, but I feel that letting her see you will act as _beneficial_ to her recovery plan"

_"Recovery plan_?"

"Although you are Eleanor's mother, she is over eighteen; I can't go in to details of her condition"

Serena's face dropped, she hated being in this position, she could not even pull strings. "And she still wants to see me?"

"Yes" she replied, "Eleanor is asking for your help to get out of here, you need to make her understand that you can't do that"

"My relationship with Eleanor is already at breaking point and you want me to talk her round and have her hate me"

"It's a necessary Serena" Emma smiled, as she welcomed Serena into the Art Therapy Room.

Serena walked in to the room, it was quiet, and felt empty, to her signs of life seemed non-existent. However, there in the armchair, crouched over like a child, Serena saw her daughter Eleanor scribbling away in a drawing pad, she looked unrecognisable, Serena could not even acknowledge that was her daughter, she had not since Eleanor's suicide attempt.

Looking to Eleanor's psychotherapist for guidance, Serena felt out on a limb when, she only received silent coaching. Taking a few moments, Serena braced herself and slowly took the few steps round to the larger sofa and sat opposite her daughter.

"Eleanor ... _Ellie,_ sweetheart"

It took a while for Eleanor to respond, but when she did, she looked her mother straight in the eye. "Mum, you have to help me"

Serena nodded, she could not verbally agree, as she knew she'd be breaking a promise.

"I need to get out of here; I don't belong with t_hese_ people"

"... It's only for a little while..."

"I have a plan to help me come home"

"Eleanor, don't..." Serena's voice croaked.

"Look at this, I've got it all worked out, it will be great mum" Eleanor enthusiastically handed her mother the drawing pad.

Taking hold of the drawing pad Serena looked at the mishmash drawings and scribbled words, tears pricked her eyes, she did not believe her heart could break anymore, but it did, a thousand pieces became a million. "Sweetheart, I can't help you, this... You need to stop this Ellie..."

A crazed look crossed Eleanor's eye "You have to, Mum this could like be _amazing_, like a movie. We _can_ do this!" Eleanor's almost hyper-behaviour elevated up another notch, and this caused the silent Dr Emma Garrett to intervene in the conversation.

"Eleanor, your mother and I are going to step out of the room now, I need to think carefully about your reactions"

"I'm not a pissing baby," Eleanor snapped, "Mum, _please_... Don't let me down"

Almost caving to Eleanor's pleas, Serena found herself in conflict to the right thing by her daughter or do the right thing by the medical profession. "Sweetie, I can't..."

"I hate you," Eleanor screamed, "I hate you, I hope you die"

Pulled out of the room and instructed to wait in reception, Serena found herself hearing the confrontation that took place in order to calm Eleanor down. Serena had previously thought her daughter was just having a tough time, unable to find clarity with her emotions, but upon seeing her for the first time since her attempted suicide, Serena realised that her daughter had far bigger problems; the only thing she did not know was how long these problems had been going on for.

As she waited for Dr Garrett to return, Serena once again began to fiddle with her necklace, the receptionist noticed her agitated state. "Could I get you a drink?"

"No, I'm fine" Serena replied with a dismissive attitude, she felt restless and on edge, she just wanted this hellish world to disappear. She sat alone for at least half an hour before Dr Emma Garrett returned.

"Confidentiality or not, you _are_ telling me what is wrong with my daughter" Serena spoke firmly; she wanted answers.

"Ms Campbell"

"If you don't tell me, I will find someone who can, no matter what it takes"

"Jenny, could you take five please" Emma spoke to the receptionist to make sure she was not present for the next part of the conversation. The receptionist nodded and put the phone to Do Not Disturb and made a sharp exit. "Again this is something I don't condone, but given that Eleanor will return to your home when she is stable, I will give you a prognosis"

"Go on"

"Eleanor is showing signs of Bi-Polar disorder; it is not uncommon for grief to stand as a trigger. We have no reason to believe there is a genetic connection or chemical imbalances, we currently have Eleanor on Lithium Carbonate, we are starting a course of CBT, however she is still being a little uncooperative and until I feel satisfied that she is cooperating, she will remain here for the foreseeable time"

"... Is this going to stay with her for the rest of her life?" Serena quizzed, she knew of the disorder, but not enough to hold a competent view.

"We can manage the episodes Eleanor has; the treatment she is receiving will have a positive impact on her well-being"

"Right, right..." Serena trailed off into her own thoughts. This was not the news she was hoping for, and now she had to return to work and she most likely had to face Ric who in all means meant well, would ask her questions and as much as she liked Ric, confiding in him over Eleanor's latest problem seemed a step too far for now.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Hurt by the information she had received, Serena found herself sat in her car in silence, even though there stood a logical reason for Eleanor's downfall, as her mother Serena blamed herself. She broke her promises failed to provide Eleanor real support; she lied to her daughter and did not even notice how dark her world had become. Worse, Serena felt guilty for even blaming herself and making this about her emotions. Wanting to reach out to someone, there was only one person she could think of, and that person was her mother. The woman she herself had a fragile relationship with, so much so Adrienne was completely unaware of Eleanor's downfall.

Taking out her mobile, Serena dialled the number to the apartment home that her mother was currently staying in, still months after her fall back in August and although she really wanted to speak to her mother, she partially wished that her mother would not answer the phone.

"Hello" Adrienne answered

"Hi, it's me..."

_"Serena?"_ Adrienne replied hearing her daughter's almost distressed voice "Are you okay"

"I... I don't know" For the first time Serena could not pretend or keep up that hard exterior that she usually kept up around her mother in hard times.

"Rena, if you're moping over Edward.."

"It is not about Edward, not how you think" Serena snapped, she knew her mother understood how Edward often got under her skin, but she couldn't believe her mother would suggest that she was depressing over his death. "It's Eleanor"

"She is bound to feel upset, even now... you were just the same when your father died, seeing you so upset really got me down too" Adrienne tried to reassure her daughter, still unaware of the circumstances.

"Mum, it is _more_ complicated than that"

"Oh..."

"She's in a hospital; she has been for a week. Sectioned... it started as an emergency seventy-two hours, but now a section two..."

"Why on _earth_ would Eleanor have herself sectioned?"

"She tried to kill herself" Serena replied bluntly

"Oh Serena, why didn't you tell me"

"I didn't think things were _that_ bad, I've had it confirmed today she has Bi-Polar, and she isn't cooperating and I don't know what to do mum. I have let her down so much and she was begging for my help, she wanted to come home and I..." Serena stumbled on her words she found herself overcome with tears.

"Poor girl, and is this down to Edward's death"

"Hmmm" Serena mumbled, "I'm such a rubbish mother, I didn't see it coming, I missed the signs, I've completely failed as a parent"

"Rena don't talk rubbish, despite my thoughts on how you've raised Eleanor, I know that girl adores _you_, you are _her_ aspiration. These things can happen, no parent is perfect, and I am not the perfect parent," Adrienne continued to offer support to her daughter, after all Eleanor was her granddaughter, her only granddaughter "You need to stay strong for her, no more negativity"

"...But..."

"But nothing Serena, now I hate to think of you going through this on your own and regardless of my reservations of us living under the same roof, I am due to leave this place within the week and I will be willing to come and stay with you and be around when Eleanor comes home"

"No, Mum... that's _too_ much, I don't want make things difficult for us, you were right all those months ago, us under the same roof, isn't a good idea"

"Regardless, I am your mother and Eleanor's grandmother; you could do with someone around"

"I've got Ric" Serena replied, this being the first time she had spoken upfront about her relationship with anyone other than Eleanor.

"As in Mr Griffin, the one you named the grizzled old Labrador?"

"Yes"

"I knew you two would _finally_ see sense" Adrienne smiled, she had always seen a spark between her daughter and Ric, and although she didn't know much or if anything about Ric's personal life, she saw him as a better match to Serena, unlike Edward.

"Hmmm"

"Don't do what you usually do and push him away, Eleanor is in the best possible hands, so look after yourself, go on a date night... you need to take care of yourself too"

"Maybe" Serena sighed "I'm going go now, I have to get back to work.."

Adrienne rolled her eyes, work always came as a typical distraction for Serena "Take care, Rena.."


	8. Chapter 8

**Firstly, a massive thank you to all those who have taken the time to read and review, all support is very encouraging. **

**A/N 1 - I realised it has been slightly heavy in parts, so this chapter wasn't actually supposed to happen, but I feel some light relief was needed, it's taken me about a week and a half to write this chapter, Christmas is a horrible time of year for me so writing happiness while feeling on the brink has been a challenge. So if it is a bit naff - my fault for trying to attempt something when I'm in a morbid frame of mind.**

**A/N 2 - Even though I don't do Christmas myself - Happy Christmas to all my readers! A new chapter shall follow in the new year or near enough.**

* * *

It took Serena a couple of days to come round to the idea of her daughter's battle with Bi-Polar, but Serena finally acknowledged that this is how it was going to play out and there was nothing she could do about it. Regardless of it not being the end of the working week, Serena concluded that she should indeed take her mother's advice and take care of herself, but only if Ric could fit into those plans, it was time to stop pushing him away.

Taking a walk down to AAU, Serena ignored whispering heads, even though she wanted to go and shout at them, what good would that do in the end, it would only let her colleagues know that everything was getting to her and that she wasn't as in control as she liked to make out she was. Holding her head high, she passed the likes of Mary-Claire and Gemma Wilde without even throwing them her usual icy glare. They gossiping duo watched as Serena tapped on the Consultant's office and headed inside

"Do you think it's true?" Gemma piped up, after a few moments of observing the two consultants in the office talking

"Arthur said he saw them being all touchy when her daughter got sectioned, I think he was totally grossed out by the idea, it gives me the creeps just thinking about it" Mary-Claire replied

"Yeah, Griffin and his reputation for being a Lothario it's just wrong and you'd think Campbell would have more taste" Gemma remarked "That said; Edward wasn't a looker... _Sorry,_ I knew you went there but he really wasn't"

Mary-Claire threw a look of disapproval to friend Gemma "He looked better now than he did in the early nineties when he met Serena..." Mary-Claire revealed having seen a picture of him holding Eleanor as a baby "Plus he wasn't a boring old fart like Griffin"

"True" Gemma smiled before turning her own attention to the man who held her affections, that man being Harry Tressler.

Meanwhile, in the consultants office, Serena finally got to the truth about why she was there, talking to Ric. She had made up a lie that she wanted his opinion over a patient's treatment plan she was looking over, but she stalled and had not thought it through properly. "Ric... I'm talking bullshit"

"I figured" he replied clasping his hands together as he watched Serena pull up a chair and sit down

"I know I said I would call you, I wanted to. It's just things with Eleanor are a lot more complicated than I thought and I..."

"You needed some time to get your head around it all?"

"Yes" Serena sighed, "It's not that I don't trust you, I do... But my mother is, _was_ the only one I felt I could confide in"

"Right" Ric replied, "How is Adrienne?"

"Fine, moving back home in the next couple of days, even considered living with me for a while, just until Eleanor is better"

"I feel there is a 'but' in that sentence"

"Absolutely" Serena smiled "I told her, I didn't need her around because I have the support of you, and that we are in a relationship"

Ric raised an eyebrow; he felt more than a little surprised but also touched by the sentiments. "Well, I... I hope I her the seal of approval"

"You do" Serena smiled once more "Ric, I don't want to discuss Eleanor here, but I will tell you what I am up against, but that isn't why I'm here"

"Sounds ominous"

"No, well yes with regards to Ellie, but not what I wanted to say to you"

"Go on..."

"We've been doing the falling in and out if bed with each other for a while now, and its great don't get me wrong, but I think we're just going round in circles. I think maybe, we should start doing this properly"

"And you're being the modern woman and asking me out" Ric raised an eyebrow

".. I think I am, yes"

"So we're making this official, are you sure that's what you want?"

"My personal life seems to find itself around the hospital already, I prefer to have gossip about us, rather than my daughter being hot topic" Serena declared ".. And I think I like the idea of doing the dating thing again, unless you think we're in this too deep already"

"No, I think it's a reasonable idea, would have liked to have suggested it myself" Ric replied

"Well, from time to time you are slow off the mark" Serena smiled

"Only in certain areas" Ric grinned "I think I'd like to take this opportunity to set in stone our first _official_ date"

"Do you now?"

"I'll let you into a secret; I'm quite a chef when it comes to culinary skills. How about you come to my place I cook us dinner, if you're free that is..."

"You're on" Serena smiled

"Eight o'clock?"

"I'll be there"

Ii - ~~ - iI

With a smile on her face, and a warm feeling in her heart, Serena found herself looking forward to tonight, but for now she had a few loose ends she needed to tie, but grabbing a coffee from 'Pulses' seemed more important than finishing the last of her paperwork. Unfortunately, Serena found her path crossing with F1 Zosia March. Zosia had made some extra notes following an interesting conversation with Professor Hope when she spotted Serena, and she knew Serena was going through something she could only dream to study.

"Ms Campbell, could I have a word?" Zosia asked as Serena received her coffee.

"If you must" Serena rolled her eyes, she was not really feeling the need to give advice to young and helpless trainee doctors.

"I was wondering if I could as you a few questions about your daughter"

Serena's face dropped, and Zosia did not even allow Serena to give a verbal reaction.

"You see, I want to train in Psychotherapy, the psychology of it all is of high interest me, how you as a parent feel about your daughter and her mental state"

Anger bubbled up inside and Serena snapped, "How dare you ask me such questions, it is none of your business, I suggest you run along back to Darwin"

"_Ms Campbell,_ I might be able to help"

"Go... Now" Serena glared, the defences breaking, she could not pretend that the gossiping did not bother her anymore as it did, and now a bright young student wanted in on the inner circle for her own personal interest.

"You'll regret it" Zosia responded, admittedly feeling somewhat gutted that Serena didn't want to know, and giving the fact she didn't mix with her gossiping colleagues she disliked how she was getting tarnished with the same stone, but none the less, Zosia did as the boss said.

As soon as Zosia was out of sight, Serena took a deep breath, her coffee suddenly became uninteresting to her, leaving it on the side Serena walked away, feeling a shadow cover her - just when would this all be over.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Zosia's interest in Eleanor rattled Serena throughout the rest of her working day. There was not a quick fix for this and annoyingly she just has to wait until it all blew over. However, the gossip and interest just seemed so constant, when the news of Edward's suicide broke it caused much surprise among staff, but the gossip died down after a day or two, but with Eleanor the gossip seemed to stick and her colleagues didn't even have the full picture, and this left Serena feeling judged upon.

With all these thoughts of anger and frustration hidden in her mind, she appeared to have spent the past hour in a daze and only now did she realise she had arrived at Ric's house and was ringing his doorbell. It only took him a few moments to answer, the aroma of spices and chicken wafted out from the kitchen.

"Right on time" Ric smiled as he let Serena into his home.

"Ummm, smells good, what you cooking?" Serena quizzed, curious as to what Ric had planned and taken aback by the heavenly smells

"I'm treating you to a bit of my world. A traditional Ghanaian meal" Ric replied, he didn't often dig out meals from his childhood, but tonight seemed like a good enough occasion to do so, it meant he was making extra special effort. "Hope the prospect of Kenkey with hot peppers and fried fish isn't _too_ daunting for you"

"Well I'm never afraid of a challenge, so we'll see.." Serena smiled

"Good, would you like some wine?"

"Thought you'd never ask"

Ric signalled Serena to follow him through to the kitchen, "I'll let you choose the wine from my poor selection; you have a knack for those kinda thinks"

_"Thanks"_ Serena chuckled "I hope that is a compliment and not an insult"

"Compliment"

Serena flashed a wide smile as searched through Ric's basic wine rack, the smile soon faded as one of the wine bottles brought sadness to her eyes "Hardy's Crest Cabernet Shiraz Merlot ... Eleanor brought a bottle of this once, I think we concluded for a Shiraz it tasted rather like Vinegar than wine.."

Ric looked to Serena sympathetically and dared to ask, "How is she?"

Shrugging Serena responded "I... I'm just so worried about her, not just for now but her future. Having a section two put on her then a section three, I fear the discrimination, mental health isn't promoted in a good light, and I don't think her original choice of Forensic Pathology as a career is ideal. Her therapist tells me she has Bi-Polar... Ric, I don't know what to do anymore, my mum thinks I should relax a little, think about myself... I just feel damned whatever I do"

Ric saw this as Serena reaching out to him. In the past they had shared a number of stories about parentage and the trouble their children caused them, one story that came around a lot was about Ric's son Leo and his drug problem, which resulted in death and an aftermath of screwed up mess. "We can torture ourselves as much as we like, we're parents it's what we do, but we can't account for the paths our children's lives take, something good will come out of this for Eleanor"

"I don't know if I believe that just yet" Serena sighed as she placed the wine bottle back and pondered a better choice

"Thank you, Serena, for sharing that with me, I understand you don't find sharing personal circumstances easy"

"Given that you are one of my personal circumstances, it's only right you know, I can't lie to you"

Ric said nothing and just smiled, Serena's words had to count for something, they were far from professing any form of love for each other, they still deeply lusted each another, but the sentiments were there.

"... This Sauvignon Blanc, is ideal for the meal" Serena changed the topic of talk once more, a lighter topic, one that didn't require heavy thought and emotion, one that would allow her to enjoy herself, a little. This pleased Ric; as seeing Serena down in the dumps and fighting barriers, when she relaxed and stopped worrying she was an enjoyable person to send time with.

Ii - ~~ - iI

The evening seemed to fly by, and it was getting late and both had drunk more than they intended too, after all it was a 'school' night. Having both spoken about such pleasantries and engaged in flirtatious behaviour, enough was enough and Serena had to call it a night. Pulling away from the protective hold, Serena mumbled she did not want to leave Ric's arms, as she was feeling rather content.

"Time for me to go home"

"Why would you do that" Ric replied, a sheepish tone hanging in his voice

"Because, I ... I _need_ to go home"

"Can't let you do that Serena"

"Why?"

"I'll take a pleasant guess at the fact you drove here, and for that very reason I can't let you leave"

"Shut up, I'm going home"

"You're not driving" Ric spoke firmly "We've drunk a bottle and a half of wine between us, you are not going anywhere"

"I was going to call a taxi," Serena affirmed

"Why are you so_ keen_ to go?"

"Why are you so keen for me to stay?" Serena threw the question back

"I asked first" Ric slipped his hand back around Serena's waist as he sat upright to match her positioning.

"... Because I'm being a good girl"

That statement made Ric laugh more than it should "You don't fool me..."

"Zip it!" Serena tried to keep her cool "Trying to stay on my best behaviour, I wasn't always one to fuck on the first date you know..."

"Is this you and your idea of wanting to do things properly, despite that fact that we have already as you put it, fell in and out of bed in more ways than one"

"Hmmm, where's the harm in wanting to play it differently"

"I don't want different, I want _you_ the way you _are_" Ric replied giving Serena a nudge "We're both adults, with baggage what we do is no concern of anyone"

"You sound like you've swallowed a vineyard"

"Coming from you_... HA_!" Ric chuckled "Stay, it's late, what have you got to lose?"

"A shower in the morning, a clean set of clothes and a few hours less sleep"

"All very essential for the woman who is still the boss"

"Yes... I suppose there are benefits to me staying"

"Ah, see knew you couldn't hold out on this best behaviour stuff"

"Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind" Serena looked Ric dead in the eye, slightly biting the bottom of her lip, whilst a smile tried to escape from her face, she never felt sure as to why Ric was able to make her change her mind so quickly, but he did and she didn't mind. It clearly was working for her and doing her some good, and Ric was not walking all over her unlike she had let the odd man do in the past. For now, this was just a little bit of perfection.


	9. Chapter 9

**I hope everyone one of my readers had a lovely Christmas and a fantasic time last night and are looking forward to the rest of 2014.**

**Here is the next chapter. **

* * *

Serena nervously paced her living room, her mother Adrianne watching intensively, she had never seen her daughter to nervous before, perhaps only twice in the forty-eight years of Serena's life. The first moment being the time Serena awaited confirmation for her first choice University Medical School course, she didn't want nothing but the best, the second time was the day Eleanor was born, Serena was apprehensive about giving birth, becoming a mother - it daunted her. Serena did not do nervous, or that was what she told everyone, but she did, however there were times where she could not hide it and this was one of them times.

Now the twenty-eighth of January, and Serena was free of her duties as hospital CEO, she was just back to being a regular consultant on Keller, and today she had the day off. Michael Spence had control of Keller for the day so she needed not to worry. Better still Serena's relationship with Ric was not hot topic on the gossip rounds, and nor was her daughter's dwindling path to destruction. When the revelation came that new CEO Guy Self was none other than the father to star F1 Zosia March, it felt good to know that someone else's personal life was at the forefront.

Serena's anticipation of the day and it started to irritate Adrienne to the point it made her lose her own mind "Serena, can you just sit down"

"I can't"

"You'll wear the carpet out if you keep pacing around"

Serena threw her mother a look of disapproval "Don't be so ridiculous"

"You're making my eyes feel like they want to pop out, just relax, and take a moment"

Serena sighed, she did not really listen to her mother, and she started to vent her feelings "Do you think I should leave now, but I'll be rather early, but if I leave on time I might turn up late. I don't want to upset Eleanor, Mum, do you think she'd mind if I turned up early?"

Adrienne shook her head at her daughter "_Rena_, I think you just need to step back a moment"

"Oh, I haven't even sorted her room, I should have cleaned it weeks ago, and I got so wrapped up in worrying... And Ric is a distraction and a half ..."

"I doubt she'd mind about her room, it will give her something to do" Adrienne affirmed "Speaking of your _lover_..."

"Mum!" Despite Ric being her romantic partner, the way her mother spoke the word 'lover' rattled Serena a little to her it seemed a little cheap, but if her mother used the word boyfriend she'd feel more narked as at her age she didn't feel those words suited.

"All I want to know is where he is"

"At work where he should be"

"Not here giving you support"

"I don't need him holding my hand _every_ hour of the day, and they can't spare two leading Consultants. Besides, I need a little break from the intensities of lust. I think it will be good for Eleanor and I, to have some mother/daughter time"

"You don't want to overwhelm Ellie... Keep things normal as can be"

"Nothing has been normal for the past three or so weeks"

"You know what I mean" Adrienne sighed,

"It's just for a few days, as you say I don't want to overwhelm Eleanor and I doubt she'd appreciate the gooseberry effect"

"You know best darling"

"Hmmm" Serena pondered the thought for a moment "I think I'll leave now, just in case"

"Well I'll still be here" Adrienne replied, she was staying with her daughter for tonight just as moral support and just in case crisis called and Serena found herself at a loose end. Although as mother and daughter they often fell upon tricky times, they always somehow made things work in harmony.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Pulling up into the car park to The Rookery, Serena exhaled heavily, she had not seen Eleanor since the day she found out she had Bi-Polar; she did not want to complicate things for her daughter and she felt that Eleanor needed to have treatment without her presence. Her mother Adrienne had visited Eleanor a few times, but Serena did not want any updates or news until she knew her daughter could come home.

She would not lie, in some respects she started to put Eleanor to the back of her thoughts, out of sights out of mind. After all it hurt knowing her daughter was unwell, it hurt there was nothing she could do and it hurt to just think of her in such a dark, lonely world. Serena nearly drove herself to destruction torturing herself over Eleanor's breakdown and she welcomed the break from thinking about Eleanor's world. She reenergised herself in a world of passion and romantic dates, for a man who was eleven years her senior Ric still had it, for Serena it was a wonderful form of escapism - usually she threw herself into work to get through the tough times, but now even that mantra took a step back.

With her car engine, still running Serena clocked the time, she was fifteen minutes early, rolling her eyes, Serena let out an external groan. She had even took the long route to get here and to no avail she was still early, all because of her own insecurities and not wanting to fail as a parent for what would feel like the millionth time.

However, no time like the present early or not, Serena concluded that she should face her daughter and take her home, where she belonged. Although a nagging fear in her gut told her everything was far from okay, something told her it was just the beginning. That was a fear Serena needed to diminish straight away, what good would that do anyone, negative thoughts could ultimately turn into resentment and resenting her daughter could stand fatal against her battle to seek a normal life again.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Having spent the car journey home in silence, the atmosphere did not change much when Eleanor and Serena arrived home. Eleanor seemingly just shrugged and went straight to her room. Serena still found Eleanor a little unrecognisable; it seemed Eleanor was hesitant and scared to find herself back in reality. Of course, Eleanor's doctor had told Serena to expect this, Eleanor had taken a big step; she relented and took the brave steps to undergo treatment without a fight, but The Rookery had become her safety blanket and she was not sure she was ready to let go, but she had to, she could not hide away forever.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs just watching Eleanor head off out of sight, Serena attempted to make a vocal reach out towards her daughter, but words failed her. Adrienne came out from the living room and witnessed her daughter's look of loss. "Where's Eleanor?" She asked,

"Gone to her room... She will not speak to me"

"I'm sure she is just adjusting to things, in her own way... Just like you do"

"I'm more inclined to think she hates me"

_"Rena"_

"The Lithium and the therapy should normalise her, I know it takes time and they say she isn't a danger to herself... But it's _not_ Ellie..."

"She's there, I've seen here when I went to visit her" Adrienne affirmed, but then realised almost admitting that Eleanor was more open with her stood as a costly mistake.

"So she _does_ hate me"

"No, she doesn't hate you..."

"You were always more of a mother to her than I was..."

"Don't start this again" Adrienne groaned "She adores you, and she knows you do everything for her"

"So she is making me pay for my mistakes"

"That is _so_ selfish of you to think like that Serena, have you ever thought that she doesn't want to see you hurt anymore than you do now. That she is hiding her feelings from you just so she doesn't give you the weight of the world"

"Did she say that to you?"

"And much more... Just give her the time to get herself settled, you know pressurising her will do no good"

"Okay, you can drop it now" Serena quipped, "She'll speak to me when she is ready, I get it Mum"

"Good" Adrienne nodded "I know you're worried but she'll be okay, they wouldn't let her come home if she wasn't"

"I know.."

"Why don't you go and make us a hot drink, I'll pop my head round her door"

Serena half-smiled, she wished she was the one going up to her daughter's room but somehow it really did not feel like a good idea. "Okay" Serena nodded and headed off to the kitchen, a heavy feeling weighting on her shoulders. She often wondered had she not put her career first, would her relationship with Eleanor be stronger.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Tapping on her Granddaughter's bedroom door, Adrienne entered without waiting for a response, and there she saw Eleanor sat absent-mindedly on her bed, with her mobile phone in hand, staring out to the wall.

"Ellie_... Eleanor_"

"Oh hi Nan" Eleanor snapped out of what she was thinking and beamed a smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine"

"You and your mother are like two peas in a pod... She is worried about you"

"I'm fine" Eleanor assured her grandmother.

"Well, please let your mother know that, she's driving herself round the bend"

"... I will later, I want my own space for a bit..."

"I know sunshine... Your mother just hasn't taken it too kindly that we're talking and you're ignoring her"

"Protecting her," Eleanor corrected her grandma

"All the same... "

"I just want to pretend that it's all normal, I don't want mum walking on egg shells around me... I just want it all to go back to the way it was"

And that was the truth, all Eleanor wanted to do was be normal again, and her mother's constant need for reassurance wouldn't let her feel this normality, so it felt easier to ignore and hold back rather than express her needs.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks again to those who have taken the time to read and drop a review - always appreciated.**

**A/N 1 - This chapter takes a little different direction, we are not leaving Eleanor's story behind - this actually builds up to something concerning Eleanor.**

**A/N 2 - I did a heck of a lot of research for this chapter, and I mean a lot, I wanted to feel sure it was possible and it is, I found three true life accounts in which people found themselves in similar situations**

* * *

Eleanor had been home for eleven days now, and it appeared normality returned to the Campbell household, Eleanor came out of her shell, finally finding the confidence to stay at home without fearing a downfall. She started to open up to her mother, Serena too, but only slightly and that was enough for Serena too feel content enough with Eleanor's recovery process. Furthermore, Serena decided to do as she thought right and keep life as normal as possible, and if that meant she brought her relationship with Ric to her home life, then so be it. She could not hide her relationship away and brush it under the carpet that would certainly leave Eleanor feeling as if her mother did not trust her and that she had to walk on eggshells around her.

So come Friday 7th of February, Serena invited Ric over for the weekend; they both had the Saturday off, so planned to make a day of it. After an evening of takeaway food, chatter, and lovemaking, neither felt prepared for what was to follow. Come the early hours of Saturday morning, Serena awoken from her slumber feeling unwell, a heavy sick feeling rumbled through her body, she tossed and turned constantly, unable to find a comfortable resting position, she even pushed Ric away insisting that he should not provide her with some TLC, he chose to show her.

Luckily, Serena managed to obtain some sleep, tiredness overtook her nauseated body, and she found a safe and comforting position in Ric's arms, nestling her head into his chest. In his cautious mind, Ric awoke before Serena, he felt worried about her, almost feared that she unknowingly chocked on her own vomit at night and died, but luckily, the woman he had grown great affection for remained sleeping in his arms, her warm breath blowing on his bare chest. Kissing her hair softly, he pulled the bed covers up around them as the cold air hit them like ice - he only noticed it now what he was awake, and he didn't want Serena waking up to experience the same feeling.

A few mumbled sounds escaped from Serena, "Ric... Ric, I" she paused as she felt herself silently heave "... I feel like shit"

"Lots of bed rest, it's what you need"

"Nope, I need to vomit..." Serena managed to respond, before darting out the bedroom and into the bathroom, an overwhelming sense of déjà vu hitting her. She felt exhausted, her body started to ache from the strain of vomiting constantly. She could not understand it, why did she feel so bad, it was almost like a hangover but without the headache, furthermore she only drank on glass of wine - for some reason it tasted rather vile and unpleasant.

Moments later, Ric came through to the bathroom holding a glass of water and found Serena sitting against the wall, her face pale, a few stray tears in her eyes. He had never seen her like this before. Exhaling he sat down beside her, "Here, it will get rid of the taste..."

"You don't say..."

Ric let out a small laugh, even when she was unwell Serena could not stop being witty. "How long have you been feeling like this?"

"Since a few hours ago" Serena replied as she took a sip of the water, "If that _bloody_ takeaway has given me food poising I will.., I will..." Serena struggled to complete her sentence and found herself with her head over the toilet bowl once again, and with Ric rubbing her back, he wasn't convinced with Serena's answer as he had noticed that she appeared a little off yesterday evening.

"It's a good job we have the day off; I'm going to need to look after you..."

"Ric... _Go home"_

"You won't get rid of me that easily, besides... I'm not sure this is food poisoning ..."

"Oh... Just ... It is, I said those chicken balls did not taste right, let alone look right... Why do you think I ended up just eating sweet and sour sauce and rice?"

Ric shrugged "Okay, well let's ensure we are getting plenty of fluids into you, I don't want you dehydrated"

Serena rolled her eyes "I'd rather sleep"

"Well you're not sleeping here... When you feel ready, I'm tucking you up back in bed"

"Sounds perfect..." Serena replied as she reached out for the glass of water and drank some more "I'm sorry I ruined our plans for today ..."

"Don't worry about it, I'd rather you get better"

Serena raised a smile "Being looked after by my very own doctor, how wonderful"

He nodded in response "You feeling any better"

"Like I've been hit by a bus, but I don't feel the need to puke at present"

"Good" Ric gave a warm smile as he guided Serena back into her bedroom and into bed; he ensured that she was comfortable, with the water in reach. He still found himself majorly unconvinced by the food poising theory, but he knew debating the matter with Serena would get him nowhere and he would rather be caring for her at a time like this rather than arguing with her.

Ric watched over her as she started to drift off to sleep, he was just as tired but couldn't allow himself to sleep, not just yet, he needed to feel certain that Serena lay settled. He continually ran his hand through her hair as he watched her fall into a slumber. Only to shortly be awoken by the sound of her and Ric's mobile phones, hers leaving a constant vibrate sound whilst Ric's played a tune which felt loud enough to wake a graveyard.

Unlike Serena who reached out and declined the call without even checking the caller ID, Ric dutifully answered his phone; the call was coming from Guy Self's PA Rachel Maloney.

"Hello" Ric answered,

"Mr Griffin, I have a message from Guy Self, requesting that all off duty Consultants need to make their way into the hospital, there has been a riot at the local prison, a large number of fatalities"

"Right, _Yes_" Ric looked across to Serena who appeared to have curled into a ball, she definitely wasn't going to head in to work at all, and given that the staff already knew of their relationship, he thought it right to inform them on Serena, "Yes, I... I will be there as soon as I can, just one thing"

"Yes, Mr Griffin"

"Ms Campbell... Serena Campbell, she is unwell at present, she will not make it in... Suspected Food Poisoning"

"Okay that, I will inform Mr Self, thank you for your cooperation" Rachel replied before hanging up.

Ric threw his mobile on the bed, and gave an unimpressed grunt, he just agreed to go into work, of course, it was the right thing to do, but it was not what he wanted to do.

"Serena... _Serena._" He gave her shoulder a nudge, "I'm needed at the hospital... All off duty Consultants are seemingly required to make themselves present, that's everyone apart from you..."

"Hmmm, Okay"

"Call me, if you feel worse or need..."

"Ric, go I'll be fine" Serena responded as she pulled the bed covers over her head, just wanting the world to suck her in and make her disappear.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Come mid afternoon, Serena had started to feel a little better, she'd taken a shower and managed to do some cleaning, but the waft of nausea lurked again, and she once again found herself sitting on her bathroom floor, feeling sorry for herself, she just didn't feel right, and was hating every moment of it. She even started to disagree with her own judgment, this really was not food poisoning, but she did not want to allow her mind to consider her ill feeling to fall as something else.

Decided she could not take the sight of the four walls of the bathroom no longer, seeing as after half an hour, she failed to produce any vomit, Serena headed outbid the bathroom and concluded that for the first time in years, she was going to take herself and her quilt down into the living room.

As she headed out of the bathroom, Eleanor wondered by, looking rather cheery, although her face produced a frown when she saw her mother. "You look pale," Eleanor stated

_"Thanks_" Serena rolled her eyes "I just feel a bit under the weather... Well food poisoning"

"You know it's not..."

"What makes you so sure?"

Eleanor gave her mother a glare, to her it all seemed far too obvious, and she could not believe her mother's stupidity, she was a medic after all, how could she not realise the obvious. "Mum, you've been like this all week, you've been trying to hide it" Eleanor stated, revealing that she was aware of her mother's bouts of retching and the like all week, "You should take a test"

"Eleanor, I am _not_ pregnant"

"You know you are"

"Ellie!" Serena snapped, this was definitely her daughter showing signs of being her normal self "Drop it now... And where are you off to?"

"Art Therapy at the Community Centre, Jane said I said I could attend her classes if I wanted to. I did tell you. It's really good, I like it"

"Must have slipped my mind, you need me to drive you? Or are you ..."

"Taking the bus"

"Oh" Serena spoke in much surprise, Eleanor never took the bus, claiming it was an abomination on the human soul. "Be careful"

"Well _duh_! You gonna take a test"

"_Eleanor_!" Serena exclaimed, still in deep denial, she could not be could she? Moreover, even if she was, how did that happen? No, it was a theory she wanted to discount, of course, she was not pregnant, and that would be ludicrous. Nevertheless, if she was going to take anything away, she was going to take a test - just so she was certain.

Ii - ~~ - iI

With Eleanor still out at Art Therapy, Serena took a trip to the local chemist, this precautionary action started to bare a heavy weight on her shoulders. However the more she thought about it, the more she realised how she had the same feelings and waves of sickness that felt more like flu or food poisoning - it was just the same.

She had brought two, just in case, she needed one hundred percent certainty before she thought of her next move. Having already obtained the results from the first test, she had hold of the second pregnancy test in her hands, holding out for a miracle in what was the longest three minutes of her life.

Opening her eyes she looked down on the test, the outcome was the same 'Pregnant 3+'

Tears fell heavily from Serena's eyes, this could not be the right result, it was impossible. There was only one thing for it, an emergency appointment with her GP - she needed to find out what was going on, she needed to make sense of it all. So many questions ran through her mind, and fear shook her. She was pregnant, an inconvenience in her life had sprouted, what more did life want to throw at her, it had fallen upon hard times already and now this.

Strangely calling her GP was not the first thing on her mind, first she wanted to contact Ric, not to tell him as such, but she just needed to hear his voice. Placing both Pregnancy Tests back in their packaging, Serena binned them and subsequently washed her hands almost in a metaphorical symbolism of what she wanting to do concerning her pregnancy - wash it away.

Wiping away her tears, she obtained her mobile from the bathroom worktop; she instantly scrolled for Ric's number and pressed call. Naturally, it went straight to voicemail, Ric was clearly busy in AAU, thus she left a message.

"Ric, it's me.. Serena. Can you call me when you have a moment... Actually, no, come over when you are done.. Or as soon as you can, please. We need to talk. It's important"

She hung up, not knowing what else to say, what could she say, this was something that could speak about via the phone. She only hoped he did not come over when she was out at the doctors, if she got an appointment that is.

Ii - ~~ - iI

It took until eleven pm before Ric, turned up at Serena's door, hours later than he hoped, the riot from the prison was a messy deal, with one too many deaths, not the fault to the staff of Holby City Hospital but the fault of the serious injuries attainted by many of the inmates.

As Ric stood at Serena's door, he debated whether Serena would still be awake, there was a dim glow coming out from behind the curtains in the living room, but that did not guarantee anything. He even started to think that is was rather rude of him to turn up so late and presumptuous of him just to believe she waited up. Luckily for Ric, Serena had waited up, she answered the door, wrapped in her oversized fluffy dressing gown, and just greeted him with a warm smile as she allowed him into his room.

"_Coffee?"_ Serena spoke in a mellow tone as she wondered to her kitchen, closely followed by Ric.

"Please" He replied as he watched Serena set about making the drinks "Sorry, it's late, I.."

"Its fine, I'm glad you're here"

Ric nodded "I didn't get your message till about an hour ago, in and out of theatre all day, I would have called..."

"You're here now, it's all the matters"

"How have you been feeling? You don't look so flushed"

"I, I erm" Serena found herself almost stalling and opted to give herself a few more moments to think, she had thought of what to say all evening and still hadn't found anything logical, and under the realisation that she had been in denial for little over a week she didn't know what to do. Unlocking and opening the back door, the cold air pooled into the house "Shall we?"

"It's freezing out there"

"Please. _Ric"_

Exhaling heavily Ric took hold of his mug of coffee and agreed to Serena's bizarre idea. "Okay, if you insist"

"I do"

Moments later, Ric and Serena found themselves side by side on the bench on the decking area. The hot steam from their coffee's billowing around into the cold air. However, they sat in silence; a few tears wanting to escape from Serena's eyes as she looked up into the night sky, subconsciously Ric sensed something was not right, he found himself becoming increasingly aware of Serena's vulnerability without even having to look her in the eye. Reaching out to her, he placed his hand on her knee "Serena, what's wrong?"

"I know why I'm feeling ill" Serena sighed, and left a lengthy gap before looking Ric in the eye "I'm pregnant"

_".. How?"_

"You really need me to explain" Serena scoffed, as she looked away, avoiding saying more by turning her attention to her coffee.

"It's not what I meant, I thought you couldn't get pregnant" Ric stated, it was something they discussed briefly the first time they slept together, neither wanted any accidents and Serena assured Ric that there was nothing to worry about.

"Well so did I! Serena snapped, "I went to my GP, just so I was sure that I wasn't turning into a deluded bat"

"... And.."

"I'm not a deluded bat" Serena reiterated her last thoughts "Do you know what the chances are? The contraceptive implant has a _one_ in a thousand chance of failing and the chances of a woman _my_ age falling pregnant naturally stand at a five percent success rate. So thank you Ric, thanks a bloody bunch, turns out the first time we have sex, _you_ get me pregnant with your super sperm" Anger rattled in Serena's voice, the odds were all against her, and it all came crashing down like a tonne of bricks

".. Right.." Ric mustered, he wasn't sure how to take this information, he had his suspicions, he noticed something different about Serena when they made love, she was tetchy almost didn't want him touching her, especially her breasts and he also knew Serena wouldn't lie about something like this. "I.. I had a feeling, I knew it wasn't Food Poisoning"

"Well gold star for you"

"Serena"

"What do you want me to say Ric?"

"I don't know"

"If you thought it was a possibility, why didn't you say?"

"I didn't say because, I thought it was impossible, and I didn't fancy being yelled at"

"Because that's what I'd do?"

"You _know_ it is" Ric replied, knowing that what he was about to say, could either make or break their relationship, "What are your thoughts? What do you want to do?"

"I thought about it all day and I'm none the wiser" Serena sighed as she took a sip from her now cold Coffee. Unlike Ric who was yet to even drink his. "I have a list of pros and cons" she paused "There are more, cons."

Those words stung like a bee upon Ric's feelings, unexpectedly stung. He did not expect that blow, despite in his own mind drawing up a similar line of thought. "The pros?" He asked

"It's your child, and you may have your flaws and a sketchy past with the relationships with your other children, but you're, well you. I also know despite never wanting anymore children, this may come as my only chance for it to happen" Serena looked to Ric, she didn't like what she was about to say, but it was an honest response "That's all I have"

Ric accepted this for what he was, who was he to argue it, "Might as well have to cons"

Serena let out a nervous laugh "Where do I start, I'm forty-eight years old, I am far from a spring chicken. I do not think I could hack parenthood again. Then there is the matter of my career, I have just taken a massive step-back for Eleanor and I cannot afford to take any more blows. I also need to think of Ellie, I have hardly been the best mother to her, pushing her out now for a newborn may send her over the edge. I cannot do that to her, Ric. I really can't." Serena paused, exhaling heavily, a dark cloud seemed to cover her, it all sounded too negative, "Then, there is our relationship, it is still early days, granted we've been up against it, but throwing a child into the mix. I do not think we'll survive. We should not have to give up what we got going on and start thinking of nappies and nursery rhymes. I... It's just; I don't think I want this"

Serena avoided eye contract with Ric once again, it even hurt her saying those things, she want a cold person or spiteful, she was thinking logically, how fair would it be to bring a child into this world - not very. She felt Ric squeeze her hand tightly, that surely meant he was okay with what she thought. "You've heard what I think; it's only fair I hear your view"

"Of course, well like you say there are pros and cons to the situation, naturally it's a blessing, in recent years I couldn't imagine anyone better to share that experience with, it's a beautiful thing. However, I understand your concerns, I hear you. By the time, he or she turns twenty I will be turning eighty. That is an unfair due, almost cruel, and despite what you say, I am not perfect material, far from. We both have careers, demanding careers with high responsibility. Falling off the horse is not ideal at our age. Furthermore, I understand you have a lot on with Eleanor and you worry so much about her, but you are a good mother to her Serena, nothing will change that. But it's your call"

"Ric, you're not making this any easier"

"_Sorry_" Ric bowed his head

"It's not even a question of right or wrong, it's just"

"Can we do this?" Ric raised the inevitable question.

"Yes" Serena sighed, "Can we?"

Ric shrugged "We can try... But ultimately, it's down to you and whatever you decide, I'm going to be right there with you"

A small smile crept upon Serena's face "Thank you"

Pulling Serena close into his arms, Ric kissed her head softly. He still did not know how they were going to overcome this or what they were going to do. All he knew is that he cared deeply for Serena, and he figured this pregnancy could come costly to their relationship, whether they kept the child or not, it could easily make or break them. Yet it seemed likely that they knew what the outcome would be, but would they dare admit it. Placing her hand on her stomach, Serena clasped on to a reality, a dream that she knew she could have, just for a moment she thought of a life they could all have, the maternal instincts filling inside her. Although, it was just a dream, a dream she could not hold.

Ii - ~~ - iI

It was one am when Serena and Ric returned inside, and it was only then did they realise how cold outside it was, shivering they embraced once more, content and ready to face the world, they didn't want anything more than to never part, life just felt to precious for them. "Stay" Serena whispered

_"Serena"_

"I just want you to hold me"

Ric kept Serena is his arms for a while longer, "I won't let you go, not until you need me to back off"

"I've said it once before, but I don't deserve you"

"Stop being silly, we're in this together" Ric smiled.

"Well I'll lock up here and we'll head up to bed"

"Okay" Ric nodded and he headed off to the stairs, and that is when he noticed the living room lights were still on "I'll just turn these lights off"

Serena did not respond, more than likely she did not hear, he could hear a clatter if the cups going into the dishwasher. As Ric peered into the living room to turn off the lights, he noticed a figure sleeping on the sofa. "Serena"

"Yes" She replied as she headed to him, not expecting anything out of the ordinary

"Eleanor, she's sleeping on the couch"

"Right, _right._.." Serena sighed, this left Serena feeling curious. "You go upstairs and I'll deal with this"

"Are you sure, I can give you a hand"

"No, no, just" Serena didn't know what to say verbally so she just spoke with her facial expressions and Ric read that as a cue for him to just take a step back.

"I'll be upstairs"

Serena waited until Ric was out of sight before she headed into the living room and she gave Eleanor, a slight nudge "Eleanor"

Eleanor instantly awoke, almost in a fright, she hated being woken up unexpectedly, she looked up with widened eyes, as if she had been spooked.

"Ellie, are you okay"

"Fine"

"Are you sure? You've not stopped taking your meds"

"Mum, I'm fine! And no... Just no mum" Eleanor snapped

"Why are you down here sweetie?"

"I saw the light flash on in the garden. I came down to see what was going on, I heard you talking with Ric"

Serena panicked, what if Eleanor heard their conversation "Oh, you didn't hear anything ..."

"No, I just heard your voices.. Why? Should I _have_ heard?"

"Erm, no... No, nothing for you to worry about, just promise me you're okay"

"I am. I was going to wait up for you, I panicked. I thought something was wrong with you. You are okay aren't you?"

"Don't turn tables" Serena smiled "You staying down here?"

"Erm, no... I'm going bed, night mum"

"Night sweetheart" Serena smiled as she watched her daughter head upstairs. A happy feeling ran through Serena's heart, maybe she didn't have to worry about Eleanor, yet that niggling thought wouldn't wash away, what if this was a mask Eleanor held up, a pretence to fool her mother. Serena wondered if this would ever stop.

* * *

**A/N 3 - Thank you to the NHS website, Mumsnet, Babycentre, Babyexpert and the Telegraph newspaper. **

**A/N 4 - What will Ric & Serena do? Will Eleanor find out and if so how?**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello again readers, Thanks to all those who have read and gave me feedback one way or another :)**

**A/N 1 - After this chapter there is only 2 left :o - This is a slightly shorter chapter.**

**A/N 2 - Again I researched into this chapter, correlated dates and time scales, and picked out relevant information from the correct sources. If I give a poor portrayal I can only apologise **

**A/N 3 - Sorry to my fellow 'Rena' shippers, I'm really giving out the low blows at the moment**

**However, Hope you like this chapter, feel free to drop me some feedback if you wish! **

* * *

The decision regarding the child Serena fallen pregnant with seemed final come Thursday 13th February, following the consultation appointments, Serena and Ric both sat in Ric's car, in the car park of a private clinic just outside of town. For colleagues they kept up the Food Poisoning story - being she was not quite better and for Ric, looking for him he had the day off. Serena sat in silence the whole journey; she had no quips or flirtatious remarks, just silence. Ric had called out her name a few times, but she didn't respond, he figured she needed this time to shut the world out, they were early for their appointment after all, what harm could waiting around do?

She had lost herself in her own little world and her own thoughts her left hand subconsciously placed on her stomach, just knowing there was a life inside there, a helpless life starting to grow. She remembered the similar feelings she had when she fell pregnant with Eleanor, that previous little life turned out as her biggest achievement, regardless of current circumstances.

A happy warm feeling had filled her heart once she stopped being angry at Ric for getting her pregnant, when the annoyance over her failed contraception subsided, and when her self-denial fully lifted, Serena felt like she was already glowing. The Sunday, where they had spent the whole day talking it over, and mutually decided after much painful thinking to abort the baby, the warm feeling still would not leave her.

In a small moment of curiosity, Serena dreamed about what this life could turn out as, what they could achieve, having two of the country's leading Consultant's as parents, a father wiser than the owl, a mother academically gifted, joined together created a force to be reckoned with. That was not to say she never saw Eleanor as something special, she was. She inherited her mother's intelligence, but her father's love for a carefree and easy life, the want to work hard, but still cut corners if necessary. Serena imagined that this tiny new life would not suffer such issues; they would be more perfect that she could ask for. However, it was just an illusion, how could she really foresee the child's future.

Yet the more the illusion loomed in her mind, the more she wanted it, the more she wanted to tell Ric she's changed her mind and she would give it all up for them to bring this little life in the world. Who cares if they will be old parents or if there was chances of complications? They'd have a bundle of joy who would connect them eternally, if Ric was to stand as her last ever romantic partner, she'd go for it, she had feelings for him after all, untold feelings, that she so wanted to express, but didn't out of fear and coming across as too needy too soon.

Still lightly holding her tummy, Serena glanced to Ric, the man who once irritated her, bored her, the man she once battled with. She smiled, they had worked together just over a year and a half, and he had become her closest friend, the man she'd harmlessly tease, flirt with, the guy she'd let change her mind, even rescue her from turmoil.

She was giving him a chance to put all his past parenting mistakes right, what if he really did want this child and held back on those feelings as if she did. Screw logic and just go for it.

No, it is all just selfish thoughts. A lovely little dream while it lasted, something that she and Ric could never share, not in this lifetime. That felt disheartening looking back out of the car windscreen; she closed her eyes just for one moment, releasing the thoughts of what could have been. Opening her eyes, she moved her hand from her stomach and looked to Ric once more.

"Ready?" She asked, almost as if she had not found herself distracted by her own thoughts at all.

Ric nodded "You sure this _is_ what you want?"

Serena's heart pounded, considering that Ric was reaching out for her after all, "As sure as you are"

"Right" Ric felt less reassured than before, after all the said, all the agreed, something told him to tread carefully, he took her hand and placed a kiss gently on it "Shall we take a walk?"

"I'd like that" Serena replied, they needed one last heart to heart and they both knew it.

Ii - ~~ - iI

Hours later, what they needed to do to end this took place via Vacuum Aspiration and Serena was no longer seven weeks pregnant, the life was no more. Serena now found herself in the comforts of Ric's home and seeing as Eleanor had decided to stay with her grandmother Adrienne for the weekend, so Serena did not need to worry about not being at home. She had other pressing matters on her mind.

Ric made Serena a sweet tea, he guessed she still needed the edge taken off things slightly, she had once again been unusually quiet, - something in her eye was telling him all was not well. With the damage already done, he knew all he could do now was be there for her, like he promised - deep down he hurt too.

Tears started to fill Serena's eyes, she suddenly realised her warmth disappear and find itself replaced with this aching emptiness, a cold void, was her heart telling that she had just taken away the final piece to her puzzle, the puzzle of her life that had rebuilt. "Ric," she said in almost a whisper, "_Ric_" she repeated only then did he look at her and take prompt action to sit beside her.

"I won't ask how you are, I know the answer"

"We did do the right thing, didn't we?" Serena asked, not really giving off any vibe of regret, it simple lay as a question.

"Taking everything we spoke about in account, even the last-minute conversations, as hard as it is to admit, _we_ made the right call" Rid reassured Serena, sitting beside her, protectively wrapping an arm around her.

"I know" Serena sighed, "I know" she repeated, "I just feel sad"

"Understandable, I feel it too"

"No regrets?"

"No"

"Me neither"

Ric placed a kiss on her head, rubbing her arm softly. "I care about you Serena, and if I could have changed this outcome I would, when I say change. I... Well" Ric paused, thinking that maybe he should not reveal his thoughts after. "Forget it"

"No, go on..."

Ric screwed his face, he thought he might as well share those thoughts, like Serena earlier; he almost held an illusion regarding the child they could have had, "Well, if I had met you, I dunno say ten years ago, and if we were in a long-term relationship. I say we could have brought that little life into the world; we would have less career pressures... Younger...Clarity"

Serena chuckled "Ten years ago, I'd have been a Consultant for little over a year, single parent with an eight year old daughter. Hardly a catch"

"You'd _always_ be a catch" Ric smiled "I am just saying, another time, another place..."

"I would have liked that" Serena sighed, "But I'm sure, ten years ago we would never have found familiar ground, I still was a _little _bitter and twisted back then, thanks to Edward"

"You're _too_ hard on yourself"

"Can you blame me?"

"No"

Serena looked up to Ric; he gave her some honesty, so she wanted to share her thoughts from earlier, "You know, this morning. I thought of what could have been, and I, well I nearly reconsidered. In the car, I nearly wanted us to run away and... Well... Have a perfect child with us as parents. Just for a moment, I wanted it"

"Oh Serena" Ric exhaled heavily, "I know, me too"

They held each other close, despite losing something they both wanted to logic overruled, it just a tiny little dream they could not hold. They only thing they could hold on to was each other, that's all they needed, they weren't acting selfishly, but in the best interests of the child they had nothing to feel ashamed of, nothing to regret. They knew no matter how much they wanted it; it was never to turn out that way.

As the continued to hold on to each other, they instantly fed each other the support they desperately needed. They had shared a real moment of tenderness, a small secret that they would never share with anyone else. It was just their moment and no one else's, a way to stay in their own little bubble, something only they could pull each other through.

As they both shed a few tears, they continued to embrace each other, saying all they needed to say. Pulling away, Serena looked Ric in the eye through warm tears. "Ric.."

"Yes" Ric replied wiping away stray watery tears that remained on her face.

"I.. I.." She just could not admit her feelings, not now, this is the second time she failed in doing so. It just sounded so wrong, do dangerous. "I just wanted to say thank you for today, for everything"

"You have nothing to thank me for. I would be morally wrong and unworthy of you if I wasn't here. Besides, today, I've needed you too"

They softly smiled at each other, and embraced once again, the pain they shared would only come to make them a stronger couple.


End file.
